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female
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anonymous
writes:Please, would you give me your view?. It is my suspicion that all men would be unfaithful if they could and were not found out and the person offering sex was attractive enough. My partner told me that I can trust HIM, because he values our relationship too much, but that generally speaking that is what men are like. It makes me feel angry and even though he says he is so different why should he be? I would hate to think that most men were really like that. If they are, what is the point in bothering to risk having a relationship at all? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): Of course "most" men wouldn't cheat if they could get away with it. Isn't that a bit of a huge over-generalisation?
People usually get from the world what they expect to happen.
For example, women who have a bitter distrust of men, are usually the ones that end up getting hurt and betrayed by them. Why do you think this is?
People get what they expect in life, not what they want.
If you really do have a belief that all men would be unfaithful then I am guessing your relationship can't be based on much trust and if it doesn't already have problems, it will soon in the future.
No women who has such a strong distrust of men can maintain a healthy relationship for long. You need to ask yourself why such a broad generalisation is allowing you to get so angry. Unresolved past relationship hurt, perhaps?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): I think the fact that you feel all men would cheat on you given the chance says a lot about your personality. If you arent trusting enough to believe that the man youre with will be faithful to you, then why have the relationship at all? Your suspicions will come out in the way you act and treat your man, and you will wind up with a self fulfilling prophecy. Its certainly unfair to brand the entire male sex as untrustworthy, when you appear to the be one second guessing everything. Perhaps projecting your own guilt onto others..?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): Just keep your guard up, dont assume all men are the same because there are some gems out there but as to yet im to find one. My ex of 12 years never cheated on me we split because we out grew each other and found we had nothing at all in common any more. i stayed on my own for two years and met a bloke 6 years younger i spent three years with him and had his child, i truely felt in love and he gave me the impression he felt the same, however i have found out he cheated during and after my pregnancy with different girls and hid it so well!My point is hun you will find it hard to trust a man fully again but you have to be careful you dont push him away, you never know he may just be one of the little gems out there that have morals and a conscience! good luck x
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male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (19 September 2007):
If you suspect that men are unfaithful around you - you will inevitably find that they are. There is no point of being accused and facing the grief of doing something without having the fun of doing it in the first place.
You refer to "If the woman was attractive enough"
You obviously do not regard yourself as attractive and probably have a negative opinion of yourself as you are expecting blokes to all treat you so badly. This negativaty you have will do more than anything else to make you an un-attractive person. Any bloke is going to go towards an attractive person away from an unattracive person who seems as down as you. You fail to recognise that the real attractiveness in a woman has nothing to do with her looks.
If you feel it is not worth the risk of bothering to have a relationship at all then don't. You are free not to and if you suspect your partners from day one then it is probably an advantage to the male species if you abstain from this activity altogether in the future.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (18 September 2007):
 What a sad bunch of cynical women some of you are. I think men and women think of sex in different ways, generally speaking. I do think many men could do the physical act of sex without much forethought or remorse where the average woman might not. When it comes to relationships though, cheaters cheat and others don't. I know many men who don't cheat. I know many who have had the chance. They didn't. If someone has no morals, they'll cheat. People, male or female, who love and honor the commitment, don't cheat.If you're convinced all men cheat, I pitty the guy who ends up with you. He doesn't stand a chance.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I wouldn't cheat whether I was gonna get caught or not. Never have, never will.Generalizations about a whole gender are rarely ever guaranteed to be true. There are as many differences from one man to the next as there are from one woman to the next.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): hello
it is true most men would cheat if they could however: "if they could" meaning if they wanted to throw there loving relationship away!
its obvious men look at other women some even do it infront of there girlfriend! but if your fella reaaly wants to stay in your relationship and really loves you he will alaways be faithfull.
so you see he can be diffrent some men are just players and some really do want to settle down.
and you are right in what you say about why bother get into a relationship but you do because you will sooner or later find that special one that wants you and only you.
hope this helped!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Most men would, but most women would too if they would never get caught & the person offering the sex were attractive to them. I would, & I love my husband it's just that sex gets boring with the same person, and I feel like I get no attention/ affection from him. Most guys don't get the opportunity though, so I wouldn't be worried.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I was badly hurt by an ex 2 years ago when I found out he was cheating on me with my closest & best friend! I ended things there and then and moved away to clear my head and sort my self out!
I found it very hard to trust any guy again for ages! I didn't want to be with a guy but yet didn't want to be alone... Eventually I met my boyf a year ago and although it did take me ages to trust him after everything I'm glad I took the plunge!!
You can't tar all guys with the same brush, some guys just keep cheating on girlf's/wive's/partners no matter what but there are some guys who dont...
Trust your first instinct - its always nearly 100% right!
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (18 September 2007):
 Hi
They always say they are different. But i think on average more guys cheat than girls. Its just the fact they have more opertunities. We have kids etc, and less time in the day and less energy!
But all people, men and women have the chance at some point in life to cheat, you just have to decide if you can trust the person you are with not to.
Ive had a guy say hes different to most blokes, and granted, he didnt cheat, but he certainly did a lotta lying! So i think you just have to go with the flow and trust your instincts about people in life.
C xxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): You sound exactly like me. I truely believe that any and every man would be unfaithful if they could guarentee getting away with it however only the stupid ones actually go for it. I think it doesn't even have alot to do with how attractive the person is, its simply an oppourtune moment where they think they can not get caught.As for your partner saying he is different - don't they all say that? not saying that your partner will cheat - he has obviously realised you are much too clued up to do that, so you have no worries.I don't know why we bother ourselves with relationships. I guess the thought of going through this life alone is more painful than the challenge relationships bring. Lets call it character building!
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