A
female
age
,
*idget
writes:my partner sees his children twice a week 1 evening during the week and all day sunday as he works long hours those are the only times possible which i am in total agreement with; the problem i have is he calls his ex wife twice maybe three times a day most days which i have only just found out about, i dont think this is normal but when i asked him he said he wants to know how his children are, am i being unreasonable to want to know why
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (13 November 2007):
 The main thing is, if he is in a relationship with you, he is being very unfair.
It may be guilt that he calls them, or it could be that he cant let go and misses them a lot.
I dont agree with the Aunts that say, "He comes home to you so why are you worried". How many married men hual there sorry arse home every night when they are having an affair.
Of cousre you are going to worry its your feelings at risk.
pgissyd, made a good point. You do need a lot of questions answered. But if he is still hung up on the EX, I would say goodbye.
It has nothing top do with how much he loves his kids. Calling them once a day and seeing them every Sunday is great. Making you feel inscure and misserable is not.
XX
A
female
reader, fidget +, writes (13 November 2007):
fidget is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits not really the fact that he calls, that is 1 of the qualities i love about him, its the amount of times he calls and the fact that he hid it from me as he calls from the house phone in the evening in total privacy and i dont mind in the least. his children are aged 4,6 and10.
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A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (13 November 2007):
 My ex calls me nearly everyday with some question or other, yet Im married with two more kids besides the two I had with him! I have no interest in him whatsoever In fact I personally wish he would dissapear of the face of the planet. But he just cant seem to let go of me. Unfortunately I will have him in my life till the kids are at least 18 years old, But then I will never have to see the jerk again. He claims he still loves me but he is in a relationship with another woman, however he is unable to stay faithful even to her. I left him because of his unfaithfulness.
You need alot of questions answered. Why does he feel the need to speek to her so often? Is he nurturing any ideas that she may oneday want him back? Is he faithful to you? Is he speaking to the kids or her? OR is it just that they get on well as friends but were incompatable as man and wife? There are so many questions you need answered, the list is infinate. But first make it clear to him that you are very uncomfortable with him speaking to her so much.
If he ctinues his behaviour, and you are still very uncomfortable with it aafter you have talked together then you really need to walk away from this relationship. It may even help to talk to the mother of his children, in a fiendly relaxed atmosphere, you may find she dislikes his regular calling as much as you do.
Good luck hun, let us know how it goes.
xxxx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (13 November 2007):
 I agree with Eddie here, his children mean the world to him and she is the only one who can tell him how they are. At the end of the day he's with you and coming home to you every night but he still feels responsible for his kids and calling to see how they are is only alleviating the pressure he feels right now. With time the calls will probably decrease. If you challenge him about this just now you're not doing yourself any favours but will only make the pressure he feels, worse.
How long ago did the marriage split up and how old are his children?
Eve
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 Who is he supposed to call, the man in the moon? Do not get between him and his kids. That would be very selfish. That woman is the mother of his children. They will always be linked....forever. If you can't take it, consider finding a person with no baggage. How do you know who answers the telephone when he calls? Maybe the kids answer. And, if he gets along with his ex, that's a good thing. It's better for the kids. Wold yo prefer they hated each other. He's not with her, he's with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): I think that is a bit much. How old are his kids?? If he really is calling to ask about his children, most parents don't call their kids 3 times a day. That's really obsessive. Do you want to be with a guy who obsessively calls his kids?? I mean that is WEIRD. On the other hand, he could be lying to you and he is really just calling to talk to his ex wife 3 times a day. Maybe he is trying to reconcile with her behind your back. I think it could be either one of these two possibilities. And they are both bad. Look girl, you have got to be honest with him. Tell him that him calling his kids so often is making you think that maybe he is carrying on a relationship with his ex. Tell him that you are concerned and ask him to talk to you. BE NICE about it. Don't be accusational. Just ask him in a really nice way if he would just please talk to you and maybe even appease your fears.
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