A
male
age
36-40,
*oolcontrast
writes:Dear Cupid, I'm 24 and i really love my girlfriend so2 much...however, my parents don't approve of this girl.. they consider her as not being of the same level socioeconomically....i don't care what her parents work as, or what type of house she lives in, all i know is that i love her very2 much...my parents threatened to cut all ties with me and to such an extend would want to meet her and tell it directly to her face that they don't want her...i'm the only child in my family and this sort of pressure is killing me..how do i deal with this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): You're 24, man up and tell your family to take a hike or lose you because of their own pettiness.I don't like people who judge others, out of petty spite.You'd be well rid of them.And when they are old an dying and full of regret for being such terrible people, then you will have your day.Flynn 24
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Go rent the movie Sweet Home Alabama with Reese Witherspoon and make them watch.
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female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (5 February 2011):
 Thanks for responding my questions. It sounds like your parents are hoping you will marry this other girl. Is she a former girlfriend or do your parents come from a culture that practices “arranged marriages”? Assuming you grew up in the U.S., you already know most marriages here are not arranged by the parents.
Your current girlfriend may come from a different socioeconomic background, but she is trying to better herself through education. Just because she’s a “country girl” is no reason to break up with her. There are plenty of benefits to growing up in a suburban or rural setting. Perhaps, she is less traveled… that’s nothing to be ashamed of. She’s young and she will have plenty of opportunities to do that later in life, if she so chooses.
If you’re in your last year of med school, I imagine you will have to move elsewhere for residency. Do you know where you will be going, and will your girlfriend be making the move with you?
If you truly love this woman and you know she is the woman you would like to spend the rest of your life with… then you will have to introduce her to your parents eventually. You can’t hide her forever. Does you girlfriend know your parent’s disapprove of her? I would prepare in advance, so she isn’t taken off guard by the situation. The best you can hope for is that your parents will be polite to her, and hopefully, they will see that she is a wonderful woman who is deserving of your love.
What are you leaning towards doing now?
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male
reader, coolcontrast +, writes (5 February 2011):
coolcontrast is verified as being by the original poster of the question@FloridaCatGirl
I'm in my final year in medical school and shez in her final year as well doing economics...shez a year younger and more or less a country girl and i guess i'm a city guy i suppose..they've never met her b4 but i'm afraid they might just offend her if they do so..we've been 2gether about a year..the thing is they do have someone whom they like to patch me up with..shez studying civil engineering, the family is quite the type they want i guess..i just hate these arranged kind of things..
Thanx everybody. really appreciate it!..=)
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female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (4 February 2011):
I'm sorry you are being pulled in two different directions by those you love the most. Usually, parents have their children's best interest at heart. I imagine there is something else about this girl that they don't like. If their concerns are based solely on her parent's financial status, I wouldn't break up with her. You should let them get to know her... perhaps your parents will change their minds.
I do have a few questions for you... have your parents met your girlfriend? If so, how well do they know her? What kind of job does she have, and did she go to college? Also, how long have you been dating this girl? And are you thinking of asking her to marry you? Is there something about your girlfriend, other than her parent's wealth (or lack thereof), that your parents may find unsettling? Does her family have a history of problems (drugs, alcohol, crime, abuse, etc)?
Questions, questions, questions... I know! I'm just trying to get a better idea of what is going on here. I look forward to hearing your responses.
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reader, Manya +, writes (4 February 2011):
I know a girl whose parents disapproved of her boyfriend, lower socioeconomic level, etc. and they were RICH. She married him and they cut her off, and that was that in the beginning. But then the young couple had children and eventually her parents, perhaps won over by the idea of grandchildren, welcomed her back! (The mother always kept in touch anyway.) Your story is really an old story (have you seen "Love Story"?), many novels and stories revolve around that very issue and sometimes the results wind up happy, other times not. I don't know what your parents or family life is like, and how threatened they feel about her. Not knowing anything, my instinct is to say that you should keep being together, but for the moment, postpone marriage and take a deep look at your relationships with your parents and also, with her. Are they seeing something you're not willing to admit? OR are they blind to how absolutely WONDERFUL she is in every way? In these economic times, money goes up and down, and I sure think that LOVE is a far better way to go than empty financial so-called security!!!!!! Many couples start out poor and look back on that time as the happiest of their life!
Besides, you are only 24 and starting out with romantic love is the richest investment anyone could ever make!!!!!!!!!!!
Best of luck, be true Romeo!
Manya
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reader, cuty for you  +, writes (4 February 2011):
Dear my friend
You should never give up ^^
Your parents are not right they should give you a chance
Lots of love from, cuty~~
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): Please forgive me for what I'm about to say, but your parents need to pull their heads out of their asses and realize they are not better than your girlfriend or her parents just because they make more money.
Anyway, I agree with CaringGuy. You're 24, and they can't tell you what to do anymore. If you really love this girl, don't let her go because you will regret it. Your parents might say they're "cutting all ties" right now, but they'll come around. After all, you're their only child, and they will start to miss you. I really can't see them forever ignoring you over something like this. And if they do, you're better off without them.
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reader, Odds +, writes (4 February 2011):
 CaringGuy is right, you have to be willing to make a firm decision here. Decide what is more important.
That said, you can try to dig up the reason they're concerned - is it a status thing? Or are they concerned about the future mother of their grandchildren and her character?
Is your girlfriend honest, classy, loyal, intelligent (or at least not dumb), and caring? Does she fit all criteria for a potential mother of your children? If so, you need to demonstrate to your parents that she has these qualities. Concern for their legacy is a legitimate one, particularly if you are the only child. Showing them that you take that seriously might help.
If it doesn't help, that's when you have to make your stand, and close the discussion with them. If, on the other hand, your girlfriend actually wouldn't make a good wife/mother, you may have to concede that they have a point - or just choose her knowing what she's missing. Good luck.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2011):
 Live your life for yourself.My father was none too pleased when at 44 I married my third husband who is far beneath the SE I was raised at, is not of my faith, and has a child out of wedlock that I took as my own child...It took nearly 5 years of marriage before he accepted it.Parents sometimes I think do this to see if you really care enough about the person to walk away from the inheritance and such...
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reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 February 2011):
Well, you're 24. No matter what your parents say, you shouldn't let them run your life now. If they're that pathetic that they'd cut their only child off, then they're a major problem you can do without.
You're obviously a good guy. Don't let bad parents run your life for you, or you'll never get away and wind up like a zombie always doing as you're told. And remember, they can' really cut you out - you can always contest the will in court when they're dead (harsh, but true.) Oh, and don't let those two meet your girlfriend. She's too good for the likes of them.
Be your own man, or you'll never be anything.
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