A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am in such a pickle here and don't know what to REALLY do.I am torn between how I feel about this man and intellectually knowing what to do.So I would appreciate any and all advice/suggestions anyone might have.The man i have been involved with for abetter part of 5 yrs recently wrote to me and told me to "That he would be in touch" to "Go on with my life". "That we will always have what we had".Now all this comes AFTER me writing an email to him telling him that I was TIRED of his GAME PLAYING(disappearing acts etc...) and when he wrote back(I knew then after he was MIA 2 wks)what the REAL reason as to why he wasn't around.he had said that his Dad had a stroke and that he was preoccupied with that. I understood at that point what was going on BUT not until he wrote to me.I did write to tell him how sorry I was to hear about his Dad and that had hoped that he had speedy recovery.Now I have had MANY people tell me that this a form of manipulation and control on his part that he used what happened with his Dad as the excuse to say what he said.IMO I believe my calling him on his nonsense rubbed him the wrong way and that yes he DID use the situation as an out so to speak.I also believe that he WILL return one day. Otherwise he would have never said he would be in touch and would most definitly make sure he returned my keys. Yes I DID change the locks.Why in the world would he or anyone do this and then turn around and try to come back later on down the road? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Alice87 +, writes (5 February 2011):
Change the locks, change your phone number and move on. You have already wasted five years of your life on a man who has proven to be unreliable. Since he has pulled these disappearing acts before, it seems to me that you are his fall back. If his father really did have a stroke (which I am skeptical about), do you really want a guy who will push you away when the going gets tough.
If you still feel torn, make a pros and cons list. Take a hard look at the result and ask yourself what advice you'd give a friend if they asked you about this situation.
Don't settle for less than you deserve. Good luck!
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 This fella is using you...only wants to see you when it suits him and im sorry but this excuse about his father having a stroke would not affect his relationship with you if he really cared about you....if anything he would of needed the support but he chose to run for the hills.I dare say when he's feeling lonely,he will call you...tell him to take a hike.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): He used you. Don't communicate with him. Erase him right now. Don't allow him back in. He's a slime bag.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 I think he was using you, well thats what it sounds like anyway, he comes and goes when he pleases, and although it is very sad that his father took a stroke it still doesnt mean that he should get out of explaining his behaviour.
You can do better than a part time man who is unreliable and untrustworthy, therefore do as he has said get on with your life. He will probably try and get back in to your life somewere down the line when he feels the time is right.
I just hope that next time he tries to enter your life that you are strong enough to tell him you do not need him and you do not want him to be part of your life. He is not worth your time or effort, and I really doubt he will ever change and commit to you. Goodluck and all the best in the future dear.
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