A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 years old my halfway boyfriend is 17, we aren't supposed to be together,my parents forbidden us to see each other. We have been together for like almost two years, when the started to not let us see each other was about 7months ago, i have given everything up for him. I have sneak around to see him and i have done so much just to be with him. i lost my phone my computer, all my friends i cant do anything i cant go anywhere or do anything..i got my car taken away, just anything its gone... but honestly i love him so much, i dont know what to do. I want to be with him so bad, but my parents do not. Just a few days ago my parents and i got into a huge fight and i deiced to just kinda run away for the day, i told them i hated being here(which i do) i have never felt this angered towards anything or anyone, but yeah i went with him and i dont know we talked about everything and we decided it would be best for me to go home so my parents do not get the cops involved. Well anyways there is alot more to the story but yeah, me and him have just decide for the time to wait till im 18 so i can legally leave but really thats 2 years from now.. i dont know what to do. please help me, im becoming a emotional mess i don't know how to handle everything... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Hunny when I read your story I started crying. As most of the people who have replied to you I understand your story. I as well am 14 and had the same problem. We were going out for about almost 18months and i loved everything there was about him. I told my mom one day and she forced me to break up with him and forbade me to have anything to do with him. She knew his backround better than I did but I never paid attention to why she didnt want me to leave him until about 2months ago. I knew I had to end it because I knew how much damage it would do to my family. My mom never let me out of the house. I would spend hours at a time crying in my room alone and only my mom yelling at me. I thought back to many of the things she had told me and it hit me why we could not be together. I took heed of the warning and I had to think of a plan. It hurt me so much the day I broke up with him. It was a slow process it lasted about a week. It was just last week I talked to him on the phone and I explained to him why we could not be together and surprisingly he understood why. He called me his Juliet and let me go. I told him so many things and he was so hurt. He made me make up my mind about what we were going to do and all I could tell him was Im sorry for everything and I couldnt keep him waiting forever because it would only hurt him more I remember the last thing I said was does this mean we cant talk anymore and then there was a dial tone. I cried that day but I grew stronger over the days as I recovered. There is so much more to this story but its hard to understand. Please listen to me. If its meant to be something WILL happen but your parents know whats best for you and they do everything for a reason, so dont fight them. They love you and only want whats right for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): i know exactly how you feel.
when all of this first started, we were really young.. and we still are. we first met when i was 13 and he was 15. we snuck out alot to see each other, but we got caught multiple times.. and finally, we were forbidden to ever be with each other again. i got my phone taken away millions of times just for talking to him.. i lost my parents' trust, internet priveledges, and i couldn't hang out with my friends as much. but even with all of that, we still continued to see each other and us not being able to be with each other made us want each other even more.. the risks we took got bigger and so did the lies we told our parents. we even went to homecoming together in secret.. crazy, huh?
i'm now 14, and he is now 16.. we broke up, but we still see each other because we both know that we both still have feelings.. but please dont get too attached to him, because thats the mistake that i made. i took my mom's car the other night and drove to his house and picked him up..and we got caught by the police and now i'm in this huge mess.. and i don't know what to do. hes all i have in this world, and now my parents really hate me. and my friends all left me. i have noone.. and i can't even be with the one i love.
i think i wouldn't have to going through all of this.. if i didn't realize how much i risked and gave up for him.
i understand where my parents are coming from now, and i know your not going to listen, but in the long run, it's better for you to not be so attached to that one boy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): omg when i read this it reminded EXACTLY of me and my boyfriend... my parents forbid me to see him. i lost my phone, computer, and all there trust.. but i love him so much and i cant live without him... we have decided to live together when I turn 18. We are still seeing eachother and we have been for a year. If you love eachother and care about one another... then still see him. but if you know the relationship is not worth losing ur family for.. then forget about him.. there are other guys!!
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male
reader, Spamalot  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 I understand how you feel and what you've gone through. I'm not sure what problem your parents have with your boyfriend but whatever it is, love is the strongest chain and is rarely broken by other people. In this case, these 'other people' are your parents.I've never been allowed to see my girlfriend (and neither has she) since we got together about 8 months ago but I've somehow wormed my way into seeing her about once a fortnight (outside of school). I know what it's like. It hurts.If you don't want to try all of that 'talking to your parents' stuff, my suggestions are: -don't run away as it destroys relationships forever-pretend that you're not seeing him anymore and see him in secret (if possible. I know someone who did this and it worked a treat)But the best solution as far as I can see, is to try and reach a compromise using words (the most powerful tool you can have). No one wins from conflict so talking to everyone involved and trying to reach an agreement is probably the best thing to do. If you don't want to do this, refer to above. Best of luck! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): Is there a reason your parents don't want you to see him. You need to have a really good talk with your parents, and *cringe* tell them how you feel. Being honest is more likely to help you than sneaking around behind their backs.
Don't forget that they are your mum and dad and they love you - so they are trying to help and protect you, even though it might not feel like it.
You might try when you are talking them to come to a comprimise. . .
Your boyfriend must be great if you will go to these lengths just to be with you. What has he said about your parents' rules??? Though it is good that he is responsible enough to make sure you are doing everything legally.
So, yeah - talk to your parents, boyfriend, friends... Talking is probably the best way to solve this.
Good luck x x x
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female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (4 December 2007):
 Why did your parents forbid you to see each other in the first place? Is he bad for you? If you had already seen each other for more than a year, it seems unusual that they just decided not lo let you see each other.
Can you both sit down and talk to your parents? This would actually be the mature thing to do. Try to sort out their concerns and try to adjust to something they would permit. Try to be very calm, choose a good time to talk to them and express how you feel. If you think you could get too emotional, write a letter. Tell them how you feel for this guy and how them forbidding you to see him will only resort in you disobeying. Explain how you feel for him and how you would adjust (and obey) any rules they set for you to see him.
Also, try to see your parents reasons. Although at your age it is difficult to understand what your parents think or do, they have lived for a longer time and have a lot more experience in this journey. They might be seeing something you are not able to right now. Best of lucks!
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