A
male
age
30-35,
*ouglas.S
writes:Me and my girlfriend have a very serious problem and it just happens to be my parents. The issue is that everyone i know in my family hate my girlfriend and even people i don't know do because my family goes around and talks about her. Before i just start stating my problem here's a little background info I'm 17 and shes 18, she has ex's i only have one, we live about 30 miles from each other but see each other at school everyday all day, my family has a name in my town and hers don't, her family isn't the greatest and has a lot of issues and mine don't, and she doesn't have the greatest past and all my life I've been sheltered. We have been date for a little over a year now in which seems like we've known each other our whole live because of how much of a bond we have. Now from the beginning they've hated her for what reason because she seems just like my fathers ex and they know shes cheating on me and shes using me and that they just know that. She try's talking to them and getting along with them in fact at one point her and my mom got close and that was so my mom could find out about her past and personal life and talk bad about it. The thing is that when were at school I'm with her all day and then when we get home we call each other from our houses and talk unless she goes out but i know who she goes out with and i check up on her but theirs a reason in her past i don't care to talk about it. Lets just say with her ex's and some random guy it wasn't he choice to have sex... and my mom talks bad about that like shes dating them behind my back and shes leading them on just not to long ago one of her ex's jumped her broke her phone started chocking her and beat her up because he was drunk and was high and can't let the fact she left him go also my mom talks bad about it which doesn't help its just now down to the point that everyone in my family and my friends parents who don't know her are talking shit and trying to get us to brake up i can't see her anymore i have to sneak around to talk to her and were getting treated by my mom that she will send me to DH for being an child and sending my girlfriend to jail for corruption of a minor so i dunno what do do about this.
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female
reader, WhateverMovesThee +, writes (8 September 2010):
 I'm very sorry to hear you both are going through so much...your family members are trying to "protect" you from her because they think she will taint you. Your girlfriend has been through hell and instead of showing compassion, they're showing cruelty. I think they're afraid of you carrying her through all her past, present, and future problems. They may even think she's using her. Write your mom a letter. "dear mom, I love you. I know you only want to protect me and want the best for me. But please, can you find it in your heart to accept *name*? She's been through so much and she's stronger for it. I may not know much about life and love, but give me a chance to experience both. I'm not asking you to love her, I only want you to give her a chance and get to really know her before you pass judgement. Put yourself in her shoes, Mom...think about being in her situation. Give us a chance to see where we can go. I promise I won't dissapoint you. Have faith in me."
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Make your mother understand that she has no right to judge your girlfriend that way. They don't know her like you do and you don't need your mother to start judging your relationships FOR you, you are able to do that on your own, if this is a mistake, then it's YOUR mistake to make, don't let your mother start deciding when you should break up just because she thinks she knows all about your girlfriend because of a bad experience with your father's ex.
I hope that helps.
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