A
female
age
30-35,
*ulu55
writes:I am 19 years old. I figured by now my parents wouldn't be able to control my love life but i guess it didn't work out that way. I met a guy, he's 20 and we've been talking for 4 months now. I enjoy being around him and everything about him is just perfect. It feels right and it makes me happy being with him and to me, that's what matters. The "problem" that my parents have is that instead of going to college he is working with a construction company. That doesn't really bother me because i'm with him because i like him not how much money he makes. i understand where they are coming from. That later on in life money will be important but i like this guy a lot. He lives 20 minutes away and i have to drive to his house because my parents don't approve and i t would probably anger them. I hate sneaking around because its childish but i feel powerless right now. What should i do? =(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012): i understand were you are coming from so maybe if you talk to your parents with your boyfriend and try to find a middle ground. If this isnt possible I suggest you either move out of your parents house or dumpp this guy, you cant make everyone happy.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 March 2012):
 I'm guessing that your parents would be far happier if you dated an unemployed Harvard MBA, rather than this sorry construction guy who, possibly, will be able to make and support a great life for you....You're 19 years old!!!! IF your parents don't fancy the guy who you choose to date (and who "sounds" like a pretty solid guy!), then sit them down and tell them: "Mom.. Daddy.... I like (his name here) and WILL continue to see him.... and IF you don't like it, that's too bad!!! My life is MY life, NOT yours'... and - whilest I appreciate all you did to raise me,... I'm now an adult... and this is a decision for ME to make!"Would that be so difficult??????
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 Will your parents throw you out of the house if you keep seeing this guy? NO
Can your parents lock you in your room and refuse to let you out? NO
Can your parents take away your car? - yes maybe, if they bought it, but if you love this guy so much then you can walk, or he can come and pick you up.
Can your parents take away all your money, can they stop you from going to college - yes maybe, if you have no financial income apart from them. But then you can get a job and pay for yourself.
Your worried because your parents will be a bit "angry", so what, you are nearly an adult, adults make choices that are best for them and if people don't like it, then they don't care.
Problem is, your not quite an adult, your still dependent on your parents, for money, for permission and for approval. If you like this guy, then you date him, and you don't cry because people get upset with you. If you can't stand the noise, then don't date him and do what your parents tell you to do. They are right, if you and your family value money this guy isn't right for you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 Nothing, what would you want to do ?
You and this guy have only been dating 4 months and at this stage it's premature introducing him formally to them, or trying to make him part of the family.
From your post I did not get that your parents prohibited you to see him, or forced you to break up, or threatened to disown you if you stay with him.
They have just said that they don't like him, don't see him as the right match for you, and don't want to have him around.
That's their opinion and preference and they are entitled to it , whether they are right or wrong. They don't have to like your guy just because you do, same as you don't have to dislike him just because they do.
Agree to disagree about the subject, and keep your home life and romance separated.
I guess you are thinking that if you and this guy end up together for the long haul, they would have to find a way to like him and accept him as part of the family, but... that's really thinking way ahead at your age. You'll cross that bridge when you'll reach there,if you reach there. Next year you may possibly be with another guy, even if saying that now may sound to to you like a blasphemy.
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A
female
reader, Rozet +, writes (11 March 2012):
 well....you are over 18 that means youre an adult. nobody should control your love life, its yours not theres! i know that your family is cautious about him, but if you love him then go for it. tell your family about how you feel abouit him and maybe they'll change there minds, but if not (if i where you ill still see him) but if they dont then just stand up for yourself and say. "i love this guy and i dont care what you think about him, I love him, and if you really love me youll respect my love life' sounds a bit to harsh but didnt know how to put it in other words
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): Your basically a grown woman and they should stop acting childish and except your decisions since you can make your own now.
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