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My parents are telling me that marriage is burdensome! Now I'm depressed about my upcoming marriage!!

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 12 June 2007)
A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am depressed because of my marriage coming near as my parents give me an impression that i am heading towards some kind of burdensome relationship to carry for my entire life as they had been doing it themselves.. I feel too much overwhelmed with this parental stress and breaking free from their rigid belief about life and marriage in general..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007):

Just pay attention to your heart and brain. You must know if you love, and you must judge if this is a man worthy of being your partner for life. If both are positives, then go for it.

I have been happily married for ten years now, and have a lovely daughter.

Also, tell your parents what they are doing to you. Explain to them that you are a different person.

Good luck!

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A male reader, justanotherguy United States +, writes (9 June 2007):

Just make sure you know exactly what you want in life & marriage. Take the time to write out exactly what your needs are, as well as your personal likes/dislikes/beliefs.

If you know what you want, then you know whether she's right for you, and it doesn't matter what anyone else says about it. If you've found the person you've been looking for, then just ignore you're parents. If you're still not sure this is the right person to marry, then she probably isn't, at least not yet.

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A female reader, cuttieicy Philippines +, writes (5 June 2007):

cuttieicy agony auntas you i have same parents too my mom usually tells me "when you get married is like all the end of your dreams" I dump my fiancee because of that now iam regreting the rest of my life i dumped the guy which i called the man of my dreams so what i can do now he is married to other woman dont let it happend to you.Trust me if you really love the girl go for her.

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (4 June 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntHun, don't listen to them! It's your life and you're are gonna be with the man of your dreams! How can that be bad?

Their marriage may be burdensome but it doesn't mean the same for you!Now listen, you ARE gonna have a brilliant marriage, you ARE going to have the PERFECT wedding, you ARE going to be married to the guy of your dreams and NOTHING will stand in the way!

Think positive! Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. Only YOU can decide what happens.

Have a lovely wedding and a LOVELY, PERFECT future.

x

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A female reader, Liv United Kingdom +, writes (4 June 2007):

Liv agony auntyou dont have to listen to your parents. Just because some people have had bad marriages doesnt mean that yours will turn out bad because if you really love this woman then you wouldnt let anyone stand in the way of that. Your parents sound as if they dont want you to get married, but you dont have to listen, do what feels right and at the minute, marriage sounds great for you :)

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A female reader, Midge United Kingdom +, writes (4 June 2007):

Midge agony auntDont always believe what others tell you. Marriage is a sacred relationship between two people who love each other. Some people get married because they feel that they have to, others do it because they feel its expected of them. Those are the marriages that are "burdensome" because they are not based on love and trust. It is a marriage of convenience and I dont suppose your marriage is one of convenience. I presume you are marrying this person because you love them, so how can it be burdensome knowing that you are going to be spending the rest of your life with the person you love. And you're not doing it because you have to, or feel you have to, you are doing it because you want to, and you love them!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007):

Life is what you make it, and if your parents marriage didn't live up to their expectations then that is their problem. Have you explained to your parents that their talks are stressing you out? Perhaps you could be a little more blunt and tell them to not even mention the subject as you already know what their opinion is. Just remember, life is what you make it. Look at where your parents went wrong, and make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes!

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