A
female
age
30-35,
* - soadlover :-)
writes:This may end up being rather long so i apologise in advance - its just tht i hav never really spoken about it in detail and i need help before it consumes meI think i was about 11 or so when it happend am not sure but i kno i was still in junior schooli'll get to the point simply although i will never be able to say this out loud nor do i really believe it happend and i guess untill recently i hav blocked it outi am only talking about it now because i had 2 mention it to my bf because we were getting intamate n he would wonder where the scars came from etc he doesnt kno the full details thoughi was sexually abused by my elder brotheralthough i was 11 i didnt fully understand it n many of the details are now hazyI have to see him every day this has not become a problem untill recently because of the problem resurfacing in my mind because of my bfsometimes i am scared to sit by him - my brother - but other times wer oki hate to call him tht really... brotherhes never brought it up mind n one thing i can remember is tht he made me feel asthough it wer my faulti do really want to contact some1 about it to ensure he can never do it again but my family is already torn apart my 'rents are split and my mum suffers with mental illness depression and stressits the thought that one day i maybe will hav kids n he will b ther uncle and he does something i would not be able to forgive myselflike i said my bf knows i was abused but not who by and i dont think i will b able to ever tell peopleits one thing typing this to an anonymous audience but actually telling some1 i know would be too muchi really need helpits on my mind alot of the time nowthers still scars and marks i know will never go and they have become a constant reminder and fear has set in even though i think he wont do anything to me nowi really would appreciate any answers you can offerx x x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, S - soadlover :-) +, writes (10 October 2007):
S - soadlover :-) is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you so much for your responces
your advice has been useful but i still have not been able to discuss it fully
i have spoken to others than my bf about it but still no one knows it was my brother who did it
i still cant bring myself to say it but i am more open about it now - thank you
there is another problem too, my brother and my mum are really not getting on, he is violent towards her, he has not hit her but he shoves alot - he does not see the errors in his ways either
now i dont want to say anything untill their situation has died down but then again if am honest this is an excuse because i am too scared to tell people yet
do you think it is just a matter of time or do you think i will never be able to talk about it?
my memories are no longer repressed so its slowly coming back to me what happend - how do i know if these are true memories?
A
female
reader, dont_worry  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 i guess the best thing it to stop blocking that memory, you need to ask for help in some clinic.
that way, you would be much better emotionally.
Next step is to tell your parents or someone
because it seems like your brother needs help and he needs to see someone.
you are obviously right about the deal with your future kids and his scary uncle.
so please dont take any longer and try to get this matter inmediately.
i guess your boyfriend can help you a lot right now..
...............................
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (25 September 2007):
 You need professional help to come to terms with what has happened. I suggest you call Childline (not just for children!) or the NSPCC helpline where you can talk to specialists anonymously. You recognise that your brother could pose a threat to other children in your post and you may find that talking to a specialist counsellor would help you to gather the courage to report him. You would be doing him a big favour because he would then receive professional help and be required to face up to what he has done. Whether you tell your boyfriend who the abuser was is ultimately up to you. I realise this is a difficult and painful situation and this is why I think you should speak to a specialist.
...............................
A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (24 September 2007):
 well done for admitting it to yourself, what he did was awful and a violation of his loyalty.
you could find it difficult and you probably didn't want every answer to say it but you need to tell someone.
he may have done this to others and you shouldn't feel scared in your own home, you need to feel safe and to do that this monster needs to be punished and sent to jail for what he has done. your mum may be unwel but she would want you to tell someone about this and she would hate herself thinking you are suffering in silence.
please find the strength inside you that you have to talk, take your boyfriend along for support and get this sorted now.
best of luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): You need to put a stop to this right now by tell someone about it. Have you thought of having a word with your doctor or maybe a past teacher who you got on with? If you could muscle up the strength then i think you should go along to the police and tell them everything. This is not tolerated in this day and age so you will be fully backed and supported by people who are used to dealing with this situation. Dont live for another minute in fear, it should be him living in fear.
take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (24 September 2007):
 http://z4.invisionfree.com/HealingFromWithin/index.php?act=idx I thik this website could really help you as it has memebers like me who have been sexually abused and there love and support has got me through some tough times they give so much advice and could really help you. (I aplogise if im not aloud to put support websites on replies)I really think you need to tell someone it will be hard but it would be the best thing try your parents you have the scars to prove it and if you cant say it to there faces write it down in a letter, and if you really cant bear that find an adult who you trust and tell them dont leave yourself to deal with this alone you have been so so brave through everything and now its time to really face your fears and tell people they need to know and you need to feel safe.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): You need to tell someone. I'm sure there is free couseling if you look for it where you are. You bf might be a good person to help you find help as well plus if he knows he will understand and not leave because of it but stick to you and help you thru it.
But to keep quite is not the key. Find help, a couseling clinic, that are free. There are plenty of them.
...............................
|
