My newly sober husband and a clueless boyfriend! Help!

A female age 41-50, *eekaboo261979 writes:

I'm at a crossroad here..My situation is tearing my heart apart and I need some advice from anyone who is willing to read this. Well I've been married for 3 years and my husband suffered a major car accident 7 years ago (before we met)ever since then he's been on major pain killers and anything you can think of to numb the pain even illegal substances. I decided to leave him and move out of our home since he was always "out of it" it was deeply tough for me because I was ready to have a family with him and move forward with our life being married. While living on my own and staying late at work to forget about my personal issues, I developed feelings for a co-worker he was a friend at first but I knew something felt right about him but I didn't want to admit it to myself since I was married. We started dating and feelings grew like weeds. He's a smart man with MANY goals and he seems to have his head in place but when it comes to relationships he has no clue, so sometimes my feelings go unnoticed until the last minute where he realises words can hurt and NO I'm not your buddy that needs to hear stories about who slept with who and how hot they are. He's been single for a few years now and is so disconnected on how to be around a female that it's got me a bit worried; but I know he wants to try and work on us. As for my husband he keeps me informed of his progress on getting sober, he's started to work out and eat more healthy he changed doctors and now only takes two mild painkillers but still smokes weed to "ease his discomfort" but only before bedtime (as he says). He seems more aware of everything we lost and tells me he just prays for one more chance to prove himself that he could be the husband I wish him to be. I don't know what to think anymore.

View related questions: at work, co-worker, smokes

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A female reader, peekaboo261979  +, writes (30 January 2008):

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