A
male
age
30-35,
*ernardbernardson
writes:I broke up with my ex 4 months ago. We had been together three years and were very close - being each other's first loves. I decided to end it as I was moving town for a year (2 hours away) and was thinking I'm too young to be in somethingthis serious.When we first split not much really changed for about a month and we continued to call and see each other. I then went travelling and things changed. She knew I had seen other girls and she started to see other guys. Once I was back I began to really miss her and made a few desperate phone calls to her. She said she wanted to be friends and said I didn't know if I could be just her friend. I ignored her for a while and she started messaging me asking to meet her. Eventually, I agreed to message her last weekend, after not seeing her for two months.I thought her feelings for me had gone, as she said they had. However, the meeting went amazingly. All the old chemistry was there and we flirted and talked about good times. After about 2 hours together I said I needed to go and when we said goodbye we couldnt stop hugging each other and then kissed on the lips. We both said at the same time 'I don't want to say goodbye'. The next day she messaged me to let me know she enjoyed meeting and that she hoped to see me soon, and invited me to her housewarming in two weeks. However, she also said I was sad when we said goodbye but it does not mean my feelings have changed, just that I miss you.I want her back as time apart has made me realise we were good together. Do I still have a chance with her and how do I move good meetings to getting a relationship again? Is the housewarming a good idea or should I try getting her one-on-one again.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 So sorry posters I mean "Should" instead of "She".
Since you guys broke up on good terms there's no reason as to why you two can't get back together. You have to take it slow, it's not just going to go back to how it was in a snap. Ease back into the flow of things, take it back to where you first courted her..act like these new dates are first dates again. Start fresh.
I don't suggest asking for her back at her housewarming party, that's her time to bask in her accomplishment of being a home owner and to score some fun home decor. I'd make it a one-on-one, that's more personal. Good Luck!
A
female
reader, romany +, writes (23 November 2010):
 I dont think this is going to happen overnight, You are obviously very intouch with how you feel, however, I dont think she is yet, and by what you said about your meeting last time, she was definately into you when face to face, once she was away from you, her reservations came with memories of the past break up, your travelling, the way she felt when you moved on to other girls, are probably quite fresh in her mind.
I think she still has feelings, the telling you her feelings hadn't change was her way of protecting herself and possible trying not to scare you off and unless you allow yourself to become part of her world, like going to her house warming, you will not be able to give her new memories to think about, and those bad ones will keep her removed emotionally from you.
Good Luck, this does sound like it has the possiblities to bein a beautiful love story, if you play it right.
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