A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey im in a massive mess right now and would really appreciate any advice people can give meok Im 19 and about three months ago I met an older guy in a club. He started hitting on me and i did fancy him back but thought he was too old. he then said he was 31 which i believed as i originally thought he was about 35. Anyway, we were getting on great so we went back to his and had sex - it was amazing - and we both agreed it would be a one-night stand.ok here comes the really bad part. My mum has recently been dating a new guy and finally brought him home to meet me. I almost fainted when she introduced me to my one-night stand from three months ago. he went white with shock too. When my mum went to put the kettle on, he said that he was drunk that night as he had been going through a bad patch in his life and he cant remember anything and that i shouldnt tell my mum as it would destroy her and he really lkes her. What the hell do I do??? My mum is so happy with him and it turns out hes actually 41 (he does not look his age), he denies lying about his age, he blamed me being confused on both of us being drunk.please help!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2007): You so need to tell your mom. Just for your relationship with her! By not telling her you're keeping distance in that relationship that doesn't need to be there. Just tell her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): this man has a good thing with ur mums what ever the good thing is. He values what is shared. You have an obligation to tell your mums. depending on the relationship you two share you will know how to break it to her. You could also spoil your mums fun and remove her from a high to a low point with this info. Watch him closely. I would recomment you trying to find out if he would come on to you while you two are sober and then you will know if he is genuinely interested in your mum or not. so run a test then tell or not tell ur mums. All the best.
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Hi
You really need to tell your Mum, I am a Mum with daughters of 20 and 21 years if this happened to them I know they would tell me and how dare he tell you not to tell your Mum, it shows he is not trust worthy, I know your Mum likes him but babes you would be doing her a big favour in the long run, your mum deserves better than him....
You know you should tell her babes, if you can't bring yourself to tell her then hey let her read this...
Your a lovely kid to be so concerned about your mums feelings this happened before your mum knew him, so its not your fault be honest darling she will love you so much for it, I know I would
Good luck sweet
Let me know how you get on
Love
Donna xx
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A
female
reader, Lady tinks +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Unless there is a real need to tell your mum i would leave things as they are. Just accept that it was a one night stand and that it meant nothing. If your mum is happy with this guy then don't spoil it for her. If it doesn't work out between them then tell her. Until then move on and accept it x
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 As hard as it might be, I think you should tell your Mom. The situation will only get worse instead of better. If you don't tell her now, she will feel foolish if she is the only one who doesn't know this information. She will feel betrayed if you keep this from her and she deserves to know before she becomes any more attached to him. Worse case scenario - she marries him and then finds out that you slept together - would she then believe either of you? Best to get it out in the open now, at least she will have All the infromation that she needs to make a decision about him. Good Luck Honey.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): You have to tell her. It's your Mom.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): I believe you should tell her. Maybe you don't have a problem with this but I wouldn't want my mother going out with a man in his forties who likes to go out with teenagers too. Also, this man lied to you already (about his age) Good luck.
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A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Hi there Anonymous,
I think this is a case where you need to do what you think is right. It sounds like you want to tell your mother, so I think that you should. It seems like the only reason you're not is because this guy who lied to you about his age doesn't want your mother to find out. And besides that - you know your mother best. Do you think she would want to know?
Also think about this - do you think it would benefit her in any way? Personaly, I would want to know what sort of man I was dating - if he went out and slept with random young girls because he was going through a "bad patch." How the heck is he going to handle a relationship with your mother if he can't handle himself during a rough time? He's should be mature enough at his age that he doesn't turn to drinking -- and if he's got an alcohol problem, then your mother should be warned about that, too. Who solves their problems by drinking? Not someone that I think you want your mother to be with. And I don't think she'd want to be with someone like that, either, do you?
Go with your gut and first reaction. It's usually the best thing to do.
(Plus if it's really "meant to be" between them, then your mother won't split with him, but it's best to let her choose what to do with the info you give her, right?)
Take care.
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A
male
reader, mysticboy  +, writes (27 March 2007):
im an indian and i dont know about the post marriage relationships. i know u are a bit guilty but ur mom likes him and it would be nice if u tell her everything so that ur mom leaves him and get another boyfriend of her likings. im sorry if im wrong
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): Eventhough you were both both drunk it still happened, you still had sex with your mum's boyfriend. Don't you think that your mum deserves to know that her boyfriend slept with her daughter 3 months ago. Think about it if you were in her situation. How would you feel if you had a daughter and she slept with the guy that you were about to go out with? You wouldn't like it would you? So please, tell her for her sake. After all he might just possibly end up being your future step-dad and father of your half brothers and sisters. How would you feel then if you never told her?
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