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female
,
anonymous
writes: My name is "Sue". i have been dating an older man, "Bob" for a year and a half. My mother recently moved in with us because of some money issues. She hates us dating, because he is older than i am. I love him more than anything and would trust him with my life. I was away on business, and when i came home my mother said she had come home at 1:00 and heard people in the bedroom. Should i believe her, or could she just be trying to break us up? I could never imagine my boyfriend cheating, so i just dont know what to think. please help me!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (9 May 2006):
 I agree with the other aunts and uncles, it does seem a bit odd.
What exactly did she hear? someone talking, people talking - well, that could be a loud TV or him on speaker phone having a conversation with a friend or did she hear people walking around? Did she see anyone go in or come out? Maybe it was a mate of his who had come round to borrow something?
She got home at 1 am right? Were there strange cars in the driveway? any evidence of people in the living room, kitchen etc (empty wine glasses, dirty plates in the sink, other people's coats or handbags left on a kitchen bench or a couch etc) Did she hear people wandering around during the night or in the morning?
Did she notice anyone leaving? Believe me if I were her boat and I heard this I would wait around to see if anyone left the room! or simply knock on the door and find out what was going on! Or look for evidence the next morning!
I think the whole thing sounds a bit odd - ask for more detail or just forget it. She could be just trying to stir the pot and get rid of your partner so she doesn't have to deal with him.
It all sounds a bit vague and like it is just aimed at upsetting the apple cart.
Take it with a grain of salt I recommend.
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (9 May 2006):
I agree with the other aunts and uncles, it does seem a bit odd.
What exactly did she hear? someone talking, people talking - well, that could be a loud TV or him on speaker phone having a conversation with a friend or did she hear people walking around? Did she see anyone go in or come out? Maybe it was a mate of his who had come round to borrow something?
She got home at 1 am right? Were there strange cars in the driveway? any evidence of people in the living room, kitchen etc (empty wine glasses, dirty plates in the sink, other people's coats or handbags left on a kitchen bench or a couch etc) Did she hear people wandering around during the night or in the morning?
Did she notice anyone leaving? Believe me if I were her boat and I heard this I would wait around to see if anyone left the room! or simply knock on the door and find out what was going on! Or look for evidence the next morning!
I think the whole thing sounds a bit odd - ask for more detail or just forget it. She could be just trying to stir the pot and get rid of your partner so she doesn't have to deal with him.
It all sounds a bit vague and like it is just aimed at upsetting the apple cart.
Take it with a grain of salt I recommend.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (8 May 2006):
 She "heard" people? And what?, what exactly did she hear? I am sorry, but your mum could just have a pot and the spoon is in her hand and she is stirring things up. Unless she tells you exactly what she heard I think you should stop worrying my dear, ok? xXx
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A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (8 May 2006):
 I can't imagine that your partner would do that while your mother way staying...find her somewhere to live quick before she stirs up anymore nonsence...mothers only do what they think is best for you so don't be mad at her just tell her that you have decided that you trust your partner and that you don't want to take sides and that it could have all been a big misunderstanding...best of luck
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A
reader, NG +, writes (8 May 2006):
Well, people on the bedroom? that could be his mates isn't it? What could have happened is that he was with his mates or was talking on the phone, and your mama wants to put it as if it was a woman.
Personally, I would stick to my man....but be on the lookout
good luck
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A
female
reader, Clarey +, writes (8 May 2006):
 I would not believe it for a minute. There could be all sorts of reasons why she may have thought she heard a noise. One is wishful thinking, neighbours is another, wakeful dreaming another. I can't imagine that your partner would cheat in you own house, with the prospect of your mother hearing, even if he were tempted. It sounds very, very unlikely anyway. You could mention what she has said to your partner although he would likely be very annoyed. I would forget it and look for ways of housing her independently. She has caused you anguish very easily and I hope she does your relationship no more harm.
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