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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 24 and my husband is 27.Recently he has been telling me if I want sex, I should sleep with other men. I told him I don't want to cheat on him, and that he's suggesting cheating.However, he insists he has no sex drive at all, and says he never wants it anyway.Our relationship used to be good - we had sex often, but now, he doesn't want it at all.Away from the bedroom, he's a decent, generous man who always looks after me and listens to me. Should I stay or should I go??Sarah-Joanne
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male
reader, iamsoscrewedup333 +, writes (11 May 2006):
you should seek some professional help. It is definitly not normal for your husband to tell you to seek sexual fulfullment from other men. Maybe he is having some sexual problems and is to ashamed to tell you or something of that nature. I would suggest a therapist or someone that could moderate a deep conversation between the two of you to find out what is really going on
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2006): A reader, anonymous, wrote (8 May 2006):
do you think that maybe he has cheated on you and he is feeling guilty about it now he wants to make up excuses for reasons why you should cheat on him? that is just what i think might be going on. If that isn't it maybe he is board in the bedroom maybe next time that you try to have sex you should aproach it in a different way instead of it just being sex try playing roles or just do something that you wouldn't normally do.
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No, he's never cheated on me ever. Away from the bedroom, he's a decent, generous man who always looks after me and listens to me. He's also hard-working too.
Sarah-Joanne
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2006): do you think that maybe he has cheated on you and he is feeling guilty about it now he wants to make up excuses for reasons why you should cheat on him? that is just what i think might be going on. If that isn't it maybe he is board in the bedroom maybe next time that you try to have sex you should aproach it in a different way instead of it just being sex try playing roles or just do something that you wouldn't normally do.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2006): Could he possibly be gay? Sorry to put it so brutally, but is this something you've considered.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (8 May 2006):
 Its not normal for a 27 year old to have NO sex drive at all. You need to sit him down and have a good long chat as to why he is like this. And as for sleeping with other men, thats a ludicrous idea. Have a talk and try to find out whats going on in his head. Good luck. xXx
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A
female
reader, Clarey +, writes (8 May 2006):
 There is an underlying reason why this has happened and what you need to know, is what it is. Switching from seeming happy about sex to not wanting it at all is strange and it is unfair if he was hiding a lack of sexual interest from you in the beginning. You married who you thought he was and this is not part of the package.
I would be telling him that this is damaging your self esteem and it is unbearable that he wants you to have sex with other people. It is awful that he wants to share you, it's like giving part of you away.
What you need is the truth. I think you should see a counsellor together. Have a read of this website for inspiration, this is the best counsellor for such problems that I have found:
www.victorialehmann.co.uk
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A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (8 May 2006):
 Nop you shouldn't its totally wrong to allow yourself and to let your hudsband prostitute you to other men have some self respect and get a quick divorce
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A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (8 May 2006):
 The should I stay or should I go question is completely up to you...there is a serious problem if your husband has lost interest in you sexually and there is an even bigger problem. He shouldn't want taht...I think he may need to talk to a professional and maybe the both of you can work on things. Personally I wouldn't give up on the relationship yet if you love him and want to be with him...if he isn't willing to work on it then it will just prove to you that he isn't in the relationship 100%! It takes 2, but be gentle cause this is a delicate subject for men...talk to him, get help, don't give up just yet. You have to respect what he wants but he has to respect what you want...at the moment it seems like he is telling you to sleep with other men to avoid the problem...he can't do that either...I wish you all the best of luck...please keep me posted.x
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