A
female
age
30-35,
*hadow Rose
writes:To make a long story short, recently I've come to find out a lot more about political parties, and what exactly my mom believes in, now that I'm older.We are almost completely opposite, she's ultra conservative, and I guess you could call me a liberal. She doesn't even want me giving my boyfriend more than a kiss hello and goodbye! I've come to realize that I have my own opinions on sex and the like, and as a legal adult, I feel I have a right to have those opinions.I know you guys will say "oh, just move out!" But with my current situation, I couldn't afford to live on my own right now. Not even in a cardboard box! So I'm stuck with her. Unfortunately, she's starting to drive me crazy with her prudish ways (I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but my mom sure wants me to be as prudish as possible). I'm not asking for her to let me and my boyfriend have sex while everyone is in the house or anything. I'm respectful and polite, and I know that sex is something I should save for intimate moments, and for the one I truly love, the one I know I"ll spend the rest of my life with. We both know this, and we're pretty much still boyfriend and girlfriend until he thinks it's the perfect time to propose. (we're old-fashioned in that sense)So, to get to my question...How can I get my mother to understand that I'd like to be able to kiss my boyfriend more often without her nagging me, and I'd definitely appreciate her minding her own buisiness and letting me close the door to my own room when I'm with my boyfriend? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 February 2012):
 All you can do is state your case and ask your mother for a little more independence. At the end of the day it's up to her and what she deems as inappropriate or appropriate actions occurring in her home.
I had a boyfriend who couldn't hold my hand or kiss me in his parents home because his father thought such actions were inappropriate. He was told to either respect the rules or move out if he couldn't abide by them. Some parents just uphold an ultra strict, household.
A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (15 February 2012):
Shadow Rose is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'd never like, rebel or anything. Mostly, I just need advice on how to get her to understand that I'm old enough to be doing more than just holding hands with my boyfriend for the most part.
I definitely know that it's her house and her rules (and not to insult her like I did here) , but the way I see it, there would never have been independence if the colonists just sat there and took the rules given to them by the king.
Obviously I'm not going to dump her coffee in the pool or anything. As funny as that is in my head to have a creamer jaccuzi and coffee pool.
Like I said, I just need help getting her to understand that I'm not a little girl. It's kinda like she still sees me as the same as my little sister, who is 14.
As for my boyfriend, he still lives with his foster parents. They agreed to let him stay till he's out of college, if he really needs to.
Honestly, my main concern is mostly about being able to show affection to my boyfriend without being yelled at/lectured/etc. If he says something sweet, I want to be able to kiss him on the lips, damnit! :o
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): Does your boyfriend have a house? Why on Earth do you feel the need to do these things at your own home, when you know the person who owns it disapproves and has forbidden it?
She can control who comes into her house and what happens whilst they are there... once outside of her walls and land however, she cannot do a damned thing.
You are a legal adult and it's time you learned there is a fine line between respecting your elders and defining YOUR life by their rules alone.
Until you can afford to move out, the best you can do is try to maturely explain yourself to her and if that doesn't take, keep your relationship with your man to locations outside of the house.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 February 2012):
Ahhh the rebellion days...My parents were uber strict too.
I would try the adult mature approach and sitting her down trying to talk to her about your moderate-liberal views. Don't call her a prude, or too conservative. Tell her while you completely respect her views and rules, all you're doing is asking for a little leeway. She may cut you a bit of slack or dismiss you completely.
HOWEVER, you know as well as I do and the rest of the aunts..and you'll understand this more when you move out, it's her home so she's calling the shots. Yes, you may be legally an adult but you're living underneath her roof, rent free, so you really don't have any say in what the rules are. Unfortunately until you get your own place, you're going to have to deal with her ultra conservative ways.
I don't recommend rebelling. It will only tick her off and get her to enforce more rules. Plus it will make you look really immature.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 As a legal adult you do have rights to your opinions but as long as you're living with your mom, you have to live by her rules. You cant live in her house and disrespect her and go against her because that's not done. Everyone's entitled to their views, she has a certain set of beliefs and so do you. The problem is that they are parallel and will never meet, and since you are the one living with her, in her house, you cannot do as you want. If you think that she is prudish and difficult to get along with, then there is no option but to move out. But till you cant, its her house and her rules.
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