A
male
age
36-40,
*arm
writes:I Dated my ex, the love of my life (I am sure)for 4 years, but my bipolar disorder (diagnosed) ruined our relationship (paranoia, delusions, rage, hypersexuality, and general mania). I am now medicated (lithium), and well. She has a new boyfriend, who she basically left me for, but she "is not serious with him." Her and I still talk every day and see each other once a week. She says she's scared I will become psychotic again, but she let me hold her hand last week (though she stopped me earlier in the night). We have fun together and the spark is so obviously still there. She still calls me by my pet name too. She has not told her new boyfriend that her and I have been talking because "he would stop talking to her," and she "doesn't want to hurt him." I have apologized repeatedly and told her how I felt about our unfortunate circumstances. She says she feels robbed of our love by my mental illness. We both agreed we would have likely spent our lives together otherwise. My psychiatrist says I will not relapse if I keep taking my medication (I stopped once before because I felt "better" and now this--I've learned my lesson). I still love her. How can I get her back? (Or can I even?)
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male
reader, Garm +, writes (15 November 2009):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWiccanrain, you input has been helpful to me. I wanted to let you know that I've started a new thread for this same issue--much updated--and would appreciate your support as well. here's a link: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-steal-my-ex-back-from-rebound.html
A
female
reader, wiccanrain +, writes (12 November 2009):
 i can understand her reluctance, but your choice has to be for you first...if it really bothers you that she won't tell her bf that you two have been hanging out then you should do something to fix it. let her have time sure, but don't let her keep putting u off, stringing you along (i'm not saying she's doing that) hurts u. tell her that if she needs time that you would rather she do it without being tied to someone else. in my personal opinion u r making the right choices...in the end like i said you have to pick right desicion for you first then her...and hope that the right thing happens
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (8 November 2009):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've went out with her for some drinks last night. We had a good time together. She won't tell her boyfriend we've been hanging out and talking, and I told her that made me feel uncomfortable so I suggested she tell him. She tells me she needs time still, but she also told me she appreciated all of the romantic gestures I've been making (poetry, letters, sentimental sorts of gifts), so I don't know exactly what to think. I told her that I wished she'd stop seeing him because if she just needs time, then in time if she does want back together things will be very complicated. Am I making the correct choices? What should I do?
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A
female
reader, wiccanrain +, writes (3 November 2009):
I know...but you have to remember that you weren't being treated...in a way you lost her trust. You just have to gain it back....it'll take time. Trust isn't an immediate thing.
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A
male
reader, Garm +, writes (3 November 2009):
Garm is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe (untreated) bipolar already did mess things up, so how can I prove that it won't again (treated)? I made wild accusations based on delusions, and I directed a frightening rage towards her. I feel awful.
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A
female
reader, wiccanrain +, writes (3 November 2009):
well if she knows you still have feelings for her then there's not really much more you can do. if she's afraid that your being bipolar will mess things up then prove to her that it won't (although i really do not condone you trying to prove it to her intimately and i don't mean sex, while she's involved with someone else)...just hang out, spend time together to show that things really have changed. nothing's 100%, but you can get pretty close to proving to her that things are well now....after that it's more in her field..she'll have to make the choice to leave her current bf or not..either way someone will get hurt
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