A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm new to the whole online dating scene but I figure why not give it a shot. I'm a very personal person and I did not want to reveal that much information about myself in case I do not like the guy.So I chatted with this guy online and he was asking me my name, where I'm from, age and just general basic questions. I lied to him about my name, where my family is from and my age. I wasn't thinking that our online conversations were going to lead to something serious such as meeting up in real life/having a real relationship. We did meet eachother this past weekend in real life and he turned out to be a real sweet gentleman. He is very interested in me and wants to have a long term relationship. I like him as well but I told him so many lies which were so basic in nature. I felt so bad everytime he would call me the fake name I gave him when we met.I know I have to come clean and tell him when I speak to him. I'm afraid he is going to think I'm a liar about everything now and won't trust me. I just lied for safety/security issues because I don't know who this person could be but other than that everything else I said was honest when I met him in real life. He is the type that is straightforward and we had a discussion about liars - he hates them of course.What should I do? Help!
View related questions:
liar Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (3 November 2009):
 In the future, just in case this doesn't work out and you start talking to people online again, feel free to say to people you barely know that you do not share certain bits of information until you know people better.
This negates the need for lying and sets boundaries early, so they know not to ask certain questions.
Age is a safe answer to give truthfully. Usually when people are not honest about age, there is a reason other than trying to protect oneself. Having said that, an understanding man will likely sympathize with your reasons for not fully disclosing personal details, providing you, “come clean" as soon as...
A
male
reader, tux +, writes (3 November 2009):
 Sorry, but you need to come clean on this... Though I can understand your concern, but first name and age isn't that big of a thing that many people can find info on unless you have a very uncommon name. then you can just use a short deriative... other than that, you should have said you were uncomfortable giving up that much info about things you wish to keep to yourself for the time being. If he pressed you on it to begin with, he's not worth going after..
But come clean and let him know why and chances are he will understand..
Keep in mind, when you gave him your phone number, that opens a lot of avenues as well.. :P
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (3 November 2009):
Ok, I can maybe see you lying about your name or where your family is...maybe. But your age too? You lied way too much, there is such a thing as telling a person too much information, being subtle, or just lying. If you would have just told him your first name and your age, I don't see too much harm, then letting him know that you'd rather not disclose information about your family, etc. until you got to know him better would have been more appropriate. He may appreciate you for coming clean and the sooner you do it the better. If it doesn't work out, then just remember in the future to be subtle and give little information, don't just lie.
...............................
|
