A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dont know how to say this. i realy need good advice. I am madly in love with this guy who loves me too. problem is he is a married man and is too good. we been dating for 6 years. Now he gets too tied up and phones less. says he loves me still but i think he may be drawing back. I dont want to lose him but think he maybe playing me or seeing someone else. What should i do? good advice please-scared and desperate.
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female
reader, 4thJuly  +, writes (15 January 2011):
Unfortunately, the commentors are right, no matter how cruel and judgmental they sound...truthfully though I have dated more than one married man due to my own lack of self worth, love of freedom and need for attention..I have also had the benefit of being married for 15 years..no I did not cheat on my husband...the affairs were before and after my marriage... I will never, ever do it again... It is the most painful, hurtful thing you do...The men are often experts at it and we are not. when they are ready to go they will..they may love you, but you have to think of them as single...they can date who ever they want whenever they want, with no reprecussions.As hard as it is girl, and I know its hard.I am going through it now..Never again! Work on finding one man with whom you connect like you did with your lover! That is my goal and I know you can do it!! I love my married boyfriend, and swear to God I always will, but i love me more..I told him I wanted out for a whole year, and he finally consented but not until he was ready and it still hurts like hell! There is nothing but 80% pain in those relationships and 20% love and lust. The rest is in your mind. Let go and do you!!
A
female
reader, mischieviousangel916 +, writes (18 March 2010):
Get some self-respect. Of course he is playing you. Never trust a married man.Get a man that is all yours and let the scumbag go. If he is cheating on her, what makes you think he is not going to do the same to you? He is about to say good bye. Duh!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): My brother has been having an affair for 8 years . He is in the process of leaving his mistress and she too is worried, just like you. But that is the price you pay for messing around with a MM with kids. That wheel turns and when it does life becomes a bitch. Sorry
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): Thanx good people. Least i be ready when he leaves me. Dont want him to leave his wife. Me ok wth that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): He's not 'too good', he's married and cheating on his wife, with you. He's not good enough for either of you, and his wife deserves better. If the three of you were in a boat, and you fell over the edge, his wife wouldn't grab your hand, and he'd grab your hand and fall over with you, and his wife would give him a little kick to make sure he doesn't capsize the boat with her in it. That's how much you can trust what you're doing with him, because you're already in the boat with him and his wife, and his wife will end up with everything, including the rights to what happens to him, and he'll have nothing, and you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): You need to move on and let him be with his wife! Don't you want a man that you don't have to share. Put yourself in the wife's shoes, how would you feel if this was happening to you!!! Let him go!!!!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 March 2010):
 Someone else has the same first thought, is saying that he is seeing some else, his wife. Six years, still married, no changes there. Who truly has right to this man, you being the other woman, or his wife? Can you trust what he says? Let me ask you this way, where does he tell his wife he is, when he's with you? If he's not saying he's going to see his girlfriend now, can you trust what he tells you is true?
Someone who's seeking a girlfriend outside a marriage, will tell you what you want to hear, as long as you're giving them what they want. Think of this: if he's willing to have you, outside his marriage, being untruthful and unfaithful to his wife, what would make you think he'd be any more truthful or faithful to you? Remember integrity is a way of being, not living by a selective means of who to be truthful to and who it's okay not to.
A better question is why are you putting your stake on a married man, instead of finding someone you can love, who'll love you back, without these marital complications. Find someone who'll be yours and not shared.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (6 March 2010):
 Oh honey! Look at the bigger picture! This guy is still married after being your "boyfriend" for six years. Why are so willing to accept so little for yourself? Talk about having his cake and eating it too! What is left for you - crumbs. What is in this relationship for you? These are important questions that you need to ask of yourself. Stop focusing on this cad - he has no intention of leaving his wife. Married men who cheat seldom do. They will tell the other girl whatever she wants to hear - my wife does not understand me - my wife does not have sex with me - in order to keep you on the line. Get some self respect. Find a man who is available. Drop this cheater.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 March 2010):
No he doesn't love you. You're a mistress, and he's more concerned with his wife. Do you really think a married man who has been seeing you for six years loves you? No, he doesn't. Sorry, but you need to move on or you'll wind up wasting your life as second best.
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A
male
reader, AaroNR +, writes (6 March 2010):
this answer is coming from someone that doesnt understand the obsession with dating married people,especially if hes still with her. seems pcycotic to me, how could u let yourself even get in the position of falling in love with someone where there is even the slightest chance of them going the other direction to someone else especially their wife??? i think its hard enough just being jealous of my girlfriends exboyfriends that shes not even with anymore. and yes it does sound like hes avoiding u for a reason and he probably tells u he still loves u so your not hurt. no matter how hard it is i would run hard and fast away from this situation especially if u dont even have a child yet. get a rebound. get with someone u dont have these stressfull worries with. quit torturing yourself
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