A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for about a month, he's expressed a lot of interest in me and it's been going great and we get on really really well.But I haven't seen him for almost a week, or heard from him for a couple of days and I'm starting to worry. I noticed after New Years Eve, the texts and calls started to die down, but I didn't pester him and on Sunday night I just texted asking him how he was, and he text back and said he's been quite ill since New Years Day and busy with family things, yet he was still being funny and flirty and his usual self with me.I simply said to him 'well I'll leave you to rest and relax, I'm only a text or phonecall away if you need me. Hope you get better soon x' and I left it at that.Because I realize the last thing a guy wants when he's ill or busy is a clingy, whingey girl pestering him.Since Sunday, neither of us have made any effort to contact each other, because the way I saw it, he's ill and busy so I thought it best to leave him alone but leave the ball in his court.I'm just worrying because I really like this guy, and I'm not sure if he genuinely is ill or busy, or if he's lost inerest altogether, even though he's expressed plenty of interest in me and told me to my face he really wants to make it work and keep seeing me.Is he genuinely ill or busy? Because it only takes 30 seconds to send a text telling me he's thinking of me which is what he normally does... Or is he blowing me off or just playing it cool? Or has he just lost interest altogether? Should I contact him or just leave him to come to me?HELPPP! x
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Swine flu eh?
Is it still running in britain? Cause it mostly seems to be out of the news in holland.
Although I would say that just because girls can text a guy when dying, men might think a little bit differently. We are big babies when we are sick.
But swine flu? That sounds like a lie.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Thanks everyone for your adivce.Just an update:I took all your advice and texted him, asked him how he was doing, and it turns out he's got swine flu and he's been in and out of bed, hmmm... funny how he's been far too ill to text me , seeing as he's managed to get himself onto Facebook.I just smell a great big rat, it's pretty clear he's blowing me off so I just told him I hope he gets better.I'm not dumb, I get the message lol, so I've just left it, and if he gets in contact in a few days then so be it, but I'm gonna listen to my gut feeling and accept that for whatever reason he's lost interest or can't be arsed. And it's a shame but I'm not going to get disheartened because it didn't work out with him, plenty more fish and all that.Oh and to the girl who had glandular fever... I agree, I was bedbound for 2 weeks, but still managed to find the energy to text my then boyfriend to tell him I loved him and was thinking about him.But thanks for your input everyone x
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Unfortunately men do this all the time! Happened to me a couple of times before I met my current boyfriend - I was dating them for a month or so, things were going great, they would say things to me like "I have been waiting for someone like you to come along"....all that bulls*** and then guess what...suddenly they vanish off the face of the earth!
It is a major sign that the guy is not interested and doesnt have the guts to actually tell you straight that he doesnt want to continue seeing you. This one guy I had been dating for nearly 2 months slowed down his number of texts until eventually he just didnt reply anymore, I sent about 3 texts after that - the first 2 were just asking how he is etc but then the third I even asked him (in a calm and polite manner, no crazy lady antics!) why I hadnt heard from him in a while and if he was no longer interested I would appreciate it if he just was honest with me and let me know. Even that message was ignored - clearly some men just dont have the decency to be honest with a girl - so I thought (after being upset and angry for a few days!) that really I am better off without a guy (supposedly a 24 year old man!) who doesnt have the manners, decency or communicative ability to speak to me.
Now from what you have said the chances are he just isnt interested anymore - for what reason, well who the hell knows, these types of men are a mystery and you will never get any closure!
I would send him one last text, asking how he is feeling etc - just be normal and do act like anything is wrong even though you are probably dying to ask why he hasnt replied for so long! If he doesnt reply to that well you have your answer, he is just another of life's many jerks that is not worth your time.
Hopefully he will reply and then all will be fine - but the from experience men today are complete wimps with no manners or decency when it comes to women. Dont allow any of this to affect you or question what you did wrong (believe me, I spent weeks trying to figure out what I did/said/didnt do that made him lose interest) - you will come to the same conclusion that I did, where you cant think of anything you did wrong. So the reality is that these types of men are just complete jerks!
All us girls ask for is honesty, we would much rather be told they are just not interested any more and are looking for something else than be made to feel insignificant, unattractive, and question ourselves over nothing!
Give him one last chance - if he doesnt reply then move on, he is not worth another minute of your time! I know you like him but there are plenty more guys out there, ones who actually have the ability to communicate too!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Dont leave him to come to you, you could be waiting forever, he could be thinking huh, she hasnt contacted me to see if i am ok, maybe she doesnt care etc etc....
I agree with marie....text him, ask how he is, how things are, that you miss him etc. If he doesnt reply within a couple of days, then he prob wont.
Caringguy....unless the man is in a coma, in hospital on a ventilator or something equally serious, of course he can text, it does not take much effort at all....my bf had an open fracture, had just come out of surgery, and still texted to cancel out meet! Just the same as i was on a breathing support in hospital as i had glandular fever and my throat was closed up, and i still text him.
Just saying
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): just text him to ask how he is feeling and see if he texts back
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Maybe he thinks your not interested. Just txt him saying, Hey hows you?! you free anytime soon to meet up, or something like that, and see where it goes.
I wouldnt of not texted, i would of just text him a little like, morning and then goodnight.
Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2010):
Text him. It might take 30 seconds to write something, but if he's really ill he won't be able to. Text him and see what happens.
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