A
male
age
51-59,
*omethingeasy
writes:Lets see where to begin here. This is more like a feeler question. Im really looking for a good shot of advice here on this issue.I havent posted since last winterish, and still havent really been dating much at all. Havent really cared to. When I was forced out into the world, I was literlly all alone. I had very nothing and spent my days and years focusing on making something of myself.Slowly but surely things got better and still are to this day.My main issue in my opnion is that Im pretty rude and brutally honest to people. And Im pretty sure that Im scaring most of my women friends away with those qualities.Now I still focus on my work alot and improving upon my current life situation. But I want to be able to work someone else into my life so that I can share all the things Im aquiring so that it doesnt feel so empty and meaninglessly at times.I guess Im looking for opnions here, or one person to awnser all my questions, lol, but I doubt that will happen. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 August 2008):
It's almost another thread entirely - when you say,
" I want to be able to work someone else into my life so that I can share all the things Im aquiring so that it doesnt feel so empty and meaninglessly at times."
It certainly sounds like this "someone" you will "work into your life" is really just another "thing" you want to acquire.
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 August 2008):
In the sacred writings of the Christians there is a passage about how a whole person can be accurately judged based on how he/she uses the tongue.
Here is an old aphorism - I suggest you copy it to a notecard and place it where you'll see it a few times a day:
" First, is it TRUE?
Then, is it HELPFUL?
Finally, and no less important, is it KIND? "
Then, after a few days, you can decide whether this idea represents a self-development goal worth pursuing. We can discuss the three elements, individually or collectively, on here if you wish.
Whether consciously or not, I think most people equate rudeness with an inconsiderate, self-centered, me-first-regardless-of-consequences life philosophy. Even if the rudeness isn't directed against them, many women will perceive you as incapable of accepting them (or any other person) as your equal much less have a mutually supportive relationship.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (4 August 2008):
 The brutelly honest i wouldn't have a problem with, thats essential in my world! But rude? nah, wouldn't like that. Its on par with arrogance a lot of the time, and i cant take to that trait. Its probably a case of staying honest, but think before you speak and about how you're going to come across a bit more? I'm having to try this myself these days because i realise that even though i am as honest as the day is long, i can also be a bit 'cutting' and i know i need to think before i speak.
C xxxx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Well, I'm sure this is not what you want to hear, but I appreciate brutally honest people, if not rude ones. I certainly prefer the naked if painful truth over a sweetened, oblique speech. For example, if you want me to go to hell, SAY IT, instead of telling me you're busy. I may not like it, but at least I have a chance not to make a fool of myself. I know many people like this way of being, even if only too often you're the elephant in the crystal shop.
Being rude is a different thing. That can be improved. You can be brutally honest without being rude. I just wonder if by "rude" you mean simply another nuance of "brutally honest".
One good thing about being brutally honest is that people always know where they stand with you. In my opinion, that's not little, particularly in this time and age.
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