A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i know many people will be against me in this but i need honest help please.Here's my story. Right i started liking a friend of mine and basically we are very close and 3years later i am absolutely crazy about her. I love our connection. Start of this year a boy joined our year and became friends. Lets call him bob.. He also liked her. But they are not goin out. He would suddenly start annoyin me because he knew i liked her. He would walk her to lessons and check to see if i'm lookin etc. He talked rubbish about me. I was still calm. Until her friends told me. And she started drifting apart from me because he told her lies that i liked her and said dirty stuff. When i never speak to him. But i didn't know he was saying this.My friends told me to leave him. I was burning, depression because i lost her as a friend coz of him. And he always smiled and tried being nice.But after months of not talkin to the guy or my friend who i liked i'm still crazy in love with her. I met that guys mate, and was talkin but bob saw me and said to his mate in his language, sayin what am i doin here? And he swore talkin about my mum and sister in such a foul way and laughin. The situation was not right. But i cant sleep tonight thinkin how he could be so rude first ruin the love of my life with my friend than talk disgusting things about my mum and sister. We have a football match coming and i have decided to teach him a lesson. I have to punish him, hurt him. If a fight starts thats what i want. It just won't leave my mind. The girls think i'm insane and mental whereas my boys think i need to teach him a lesson. What you lot think? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, carbonhippie +, writes (14 January 2009):
ok i know this probably wont help but your storry is exactly the same as mine there was an friend of mine so sed all this shit about me unfortunatly the girl who i was crazy about believed it then, we spent alot of time alone after school etc after every1 else left (because we could) then she began to see through all the storries etc and now well we've been together a year and this is the crazy bit because we're 16 but we're engaged engaged
i realy know how your feeling and wish this gives you some hope since im fairly sure it wont help (much anyway)best of luck mate
P.S. dont fight because she will most likely go off you more
also try gettin her alone sumwen and confront her about try to convince her that they are lies nothin more.. (hopfu;y that bit should help)
peace out
A
female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (4 August 2008):
 You can handle a situation with your mind and communication, more-so than fighting. And I am not saying this because I am a female. I have been in more fights when I was your age, than any guy. And, I didn't only fight other girls.
But, as I got older, I found out that words work even better. Say how you feel, and work it out by showing your intelligence. Fight only when you have to protect yourself (when physically attacked) or someone else.
Talk to this girl. Explain things to her. Evidently this guy was jealous about your relationship with her, and succeeded getting in between. You can fix it. At least try.
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A
female
reader, babycate728 +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Fighting is an irrational way to handle things, and it will just get you in trouble. Its not worth it. It will just let both your ex and the guy know that you're hurting by this, and it will show emotional weakness more than strength. There are better ways of handling these things such as talking you your ex about it letting her know how you feel. And no offense, but you're young you have you're whole life ahead of you, and so does your ex give it time. play the field. You may find someone else that you just totally fall for, or who knows you're ex may realize how much she misses you once she sees you with another girl! But just play it by ear.. See how it goes but by all means don't resort to fighting!
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Hi there, I think that in order to grow and be adults, we have to learn that there are things which will happen that sometimes, we cannot control. If, as you say, the girl and you were close, then I would, if I were you, try to tell her, what the guy said were lies, if she is fair she will listen to you, she believed him, and from you letter, she has known him a shorter period of time. Try talking to her, go somewhere with her, and lay it out, fight for the friendship. Ask her to ask him why he told an untruth, just like that, and see what he says to her, but regardless of him, you should try to re-establish your friendship with her. Regarding having a fight with this person, who has very bad character traits, why would you risk your reputation in school, the possibility that you may be expelled or at least suspened, or the worse case, hurt in some way that injures you badly. People have been killed in fights, because people don't know their own strength and adrendline takes over. Would your girlfriend (friend) be proud of the way you acted, if you chose to fight him. It is very immature to do this, and you will be causing yourself problems. Suppose he then, if you beat him, does something that is worse than you beating him up, people , expecially young men like to get even, let's stop this now. if you are planning to go to college, you don't want things on your record that show you are a hot head. You should not have to handle problems, by fighting, what then is the next step? Think about this and use good judgment. It will not stop there, and you will be creating a very bad atmosphere, where you attend school. Leave it alone, as I inferred, if you can't settle it with words, then walk away. Leave the fighting to animals in the jungle, we are supposed to be civilized, unless you want to fight in a ring for money. Leave this beating him up where it is, a bad idea in your mind. Learn to control your emotions, suppose you beat him up and he files battery charges, your parents could be sued, even if he is not hurt, or suppose he fakes injury. Don't be set up ny this stuff, your guy friends are encouraging you to do, they'll be graduating, while you are sitting somewhere looking stupid, for trying to prove something. It's a losing proposition and I think you know it. Don't get into the mud with someone who has nothing to lose. Respect yourself, and stay above the garbage. Take care and stay in touch. I think eventually you and your lady friend will get back together, but if you beat the guy up, even on the football field, you are going to set off a set of reactions, that you will not like. Stop it now. Don't be goaded by the guy either, he would love to embarrass you, but no one can make you feel inferior or anything else unless you give you permission, ignore fools
and keep your dignity, hands are for writing, driving, playing sports, and any number of other sensible thing, not for fighting, although they are used by unwise people to do so. self defense is alright, but intentioanl inflicted pain is not nice, and it causes retaliation. Seek peace, my final
thought is this, if a person does not want to be with me, if they are not willing to listen to the truth, then they are not worthy of me, or of my love. Love should come with a price, that of mutual respect, trust and honest communication. If she is not interested because of false belief and will not listen to the truth, MOVE ON! Life is too short even at your young age. There will be other girls who you will fancy, go forward, stop looking backwards, and nerver ever fight over anyone in a physical sense. Be your own best friend, and don't follow the pack, they may not be going in the best direction. Be good to yourself.
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A
female
reader, muffy +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Okay hunny.First of all,breathe.Have you actually talked to him about everything and say"Hey,don't talk about my family like that?"That's what you need to do to stop with the mean things about your family.As for the girl,just talk to her.If she was a true friend then she'll understand.
I hope I've helped
Love Always,Muffy
P.S.-If you have any questions just message me3
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