A
male
age
30-35,
*ellium
writes:Hello everyone,I'm feeling awkwardly strong depressed. In the last 2 months I've been trying to watch at my life from a third person perspective. My opinion aobut it is terrible. I have no happiness moments, and those that seem to be some ate just placebos built by myself. I have the feeling that I've got nobody to talk to. The cause for this is possibly the fact that I've moved away for the fifth time in my life. Its incredibly hard to leave things behind you, five times in a row. I've never had a really good friend with whom I cout talk just about anything.I'm 21 years old, I study Nanotechnologies at the university. I have lived in Spain, Portugal, France, England and in Germany for the past 21 years. I assume myself as being a polite and kind person, who is mostly interested in having a nice conversation with people, rather then gossiping around. I'm bonemarrow, organ and blood donator. I play Rugby and I do fencing. Music is a huge part of my spirit. I Don't smoke and I don't take any kind of drugs (except for some alcohol, now and then). I'm honest, open to everybody and I#ve never rolled myself into fights whatsoever.My love life is a total ruin. I've never been the kind of person who would take anything that comes. I've rather falled truly in love until nowdays, meaning with this that I've needed at least 5 months to really get to know a girl to the point that I could say "damn, I think I love her.". Therefore you cani imagine that I've been dumped over and over again. I've only had one girlfiend until now. It was the girl I gave my first kiss and the girl with whom I had my first sexual experiences, this happening 4 months ago. I'm a pacient person, I don't need speeding things up, I think that every thing comes to it's time. My relationship lasted 2 months. I guess that the problem was that she felt to secure, there was no risky crap going on, she didn't have to worry about me loving her; I assured her that my feelings were not changing. We made tons of interesting things! I took her on a trip through europe, from the 15th to the 27th January. We visited Croatia, Italy, Greece, Sweden and Island. We went to concerts, I took her for the fist time in her life to a real Opera, in Munich. We talked about many different things, and thus for hours. I always was at her side. One day she calls me and tells me she has to talk with me. She broke up and said her heart belongs her ex-boyfriend. Dude, that was a hard nut to take there.Well, since then I think that the problem is that I've got no place to call my home, because I dont have a place where I feel so. No real social circle where I know people for years. Everybody ist just "I person that I know from...". I'm losing the strength to keep on standing because It's on days like this, when I'm sitting alone, at night, and listening to the rain where I think " Damn dude, you really are sad".How can I make myself hope? At this age and with my character it's hard to find people who think the same way as I do, without superficial judgements and who are honest.At nights sometimes I do cry, because I cannot handle the emptyness in my chest and therefore in my head. I want to change! But how can I achieve that? It looks impossible to me..I'd love some advice from you, maybe I can cheer up and try harder, if that's what's necessary..
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broke up, depressed, drugs, her ex, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, roadie42  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 Wow...you sound like an amazing person. I wish we could have a chat so you could know that there are indeed other girls out there who are into more than gossip and drama.Since it's clear that you're a genuinely caring, sweet guy, I'd hang in there. You still have plenty of time to find a special someone, and I assure you it's worth the wait. There are so many girls who are looking for guys who are actually mature and honest, so I doubt you'll have a difficult time finding someone who appreciates you.Keep your chin up! Depression is a horrible downward spiral and can really mess with your head if you fight with it for too long. I'm a college student and I'm being treated for it at the moment. I understand your feelings - your lack of a social circle or a place to which you belong - and I know how important it is to reach out and start making things better for yourself, even if it's difficult. Don't give up!Move on from old friends/relationships and make new ones. Perhaps settle down in one area and get to know people there - it's hard to develop long term relationships if you're constantly moving. And start being optimistic - that's the most important thing. It sounds stupid, but positive thinking is the key. You'll find your way out of this situation as long as you believe it's possible.Good luck, and I hope things get better!! If you ever need to chat, feel free to message me.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (26 March 2010):
 Hello there german boy...
First of all,I would like to tell you that every person has issues. So don't feel sad about yourself.You're not alone.
Moving on to your issue...
I can totally understand you.I lived in some place for 2 years and when i came back to my homecountry i was completely lost.One year later,I just now started to move on.
For you to have a good love life,you need to start having a social life.and I mean a stable life. Im sure u have many friends from all the different places u lived at,but theyre not there with you now.At least not physically.
You are 27.Time to find that special place to live in.Since youve been to many places,you have options.So make your choice.
Then start making friends with the mindset that you are gonna be around them for a LONG time.
As far as it comes to your ex...You were way too good to her.Being a gentleman is perfect but giving someone everything isnt. U gave too much to her and she didnt earn it.
Think of it this way...would you like it if a girl gave u everything just like that?Wouldnt u wanna try a little bit?
It's ok,it was your first relationship.Its over.Move on.Since she didnt appreciate what you did for her....MOVEEEE ONNNN! yeah thats the key,repeat it after me :p
If you need anything else feel free to send me a private message.
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