A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i need some advice this is quite long but here goes I have gotton myself into a situation i am not very proud of. I am 27 female never had a boyfriend and lack confidence. I fell for someone at work who i know just wants a bit of 'fun' no strings, i was never happy with the set up (we just got together every 6-7 weeks, had a bit of a feel up of each other and full on kissing, we then moved onto me giving him a hand job, he asked) but i went along with it because for once i felt good that someone wanted me, no one at work knows and wont find out. He now wants me to go down on him, I have so far refused (a little bit scared to) as I feel that it might change things I know I have acted a bit like a slapper/slag for just hooking up with him for a kiss etc. I tried to say to him that I wont go down on him because its just a work thing and he replied by saying that its not a work thing, i have to say he has never asked me out on a date but he has invited me to his house, again i have said no as i dont want to give him the idea that i would sleep with him, he says he doesnt mind if i am shy because that turns him on and he likes me. He also wants to make me orgasm, again I am scared to I am a bit frigid i suppose but when i am with him i really want to do things but i am apprehensive. I am worried that he already thinks i am easy for hooking up with him and kissing him.
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at work, confidence, frigid, hand-job, kissing, never had a boyfriend, orgasm, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 March 2010):
 You got together every 6-7 weeks? Huh?
If you are 27 and a virgin, you are definitely not easy. He's looking for fun, so he doesn't care whether you are easy or not. It's not like he's going to bring you home to his mom and let her judge you. In fact he wants you to be easy. Nowadays unless you are a strict Catholic or a Muslim no one is going to condemn you. So what if he wouldn't get serious with you because you slept with him on the first date? Dump him if he's being double standard. Just remember it's about fun and you both consent to what you are doing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): well, sounds like you are both single. Sounds like he is heading towards one thing, but, he is also spending time with you. However, getting together once every 6-7 weeks when you both work together is not that often.
You could let him know what you are looking for in a relationship, ie spending more time getting to know someone better on a regular basis, being friends etc. If he is not up for this, just let him know that you will be trying to find someone who values you in ways you want to be valued.
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