A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Allo!My girlfriend and I have been together for...ah...whoa...21 months, that's nearly 2 years, lol, neither of us realized. I'm 18, she turns 19 in a couple of months and we seem, well, absolutely fine. We'd like to hold on to our relationship as long as we possibly can, and would absolutely love to get married one day, though I guess getting engaged or anything remotely like that we can obviously hold of for a few more years til everything's topsy-terrific...=)However, she does have ADHD. Now, this is my first relationship, and this is her 5th. This is also her longest and the other 5 boys she was with last about a month or so. Naturally, she feels slightly uncomfortable with the touching, but still we hug lots and kiss all the time.Now we both want sex...well, not...now...lol, but we'd like to save it til marriage if we could. I've heard that people with ADHD have a low sex drive. I really haven't had as much physical experience in my life as most people, but still, I enjoy being with her, so naturally I'm scared out of my mind (though in a good way) and she seems just as nervous though still wanting to do so.Could anyone please maybe explain these nerves? or how her ADHD may effect our future relationship? Although we're fine and dandy now, I just feel that in case anything should happen, I'll know exactly what to do, is all =)
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female
reader, Maria-consuela  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 There are different levels of ADD, and ADHD that affect people in similar but not the same uniform ways.
Low sex drive is a factor, but some report very high sex drive.
People with ADHD are easily bored, prone to impulse, last minute decisions, inability to structure and manage time, emotional detachment and sudden bursts of anger or shutting down emotionally.
Is she currently medicated? I'm not suggesting that it is absolutely neccesary or that it is the solution to everything, but I personally have been taking concerta for 6 years- low dose, and have found it has really helped me put structure in my daily life.
A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 i live with ADHD and that is the cause of the end of my 13 year relationship. Sometimes it feels like i am a coke bottle being shaken and I have to do something to release it. my mind is all over the place and it sometimes difficult to function I cannot organize, prioritize, and have horrible time management.
This drove my ex crazy and he decided he could not live with me any longer.
The best advice I can give to you is be extremely patient with her. I have my good days and my bad days but at the end of the day, we are looking for someone to love us and accept us just the way we are. the good and the bad.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 November 2009):
ADHD is like being nervous and excited all the time. You could almost say that it is the total opposite to depression. She will be prone to making sudden decisions that could later go wrong, she'll suffer from sudden panic, that could even cause panic attacks, and you may find that her temper could move from happy to angry quite quickly over nothing. Really talk to her about how she feels, and listen to her very carefully and be there for her. At the moment, she might be worried about sex because it is quite soon after her break-up, and also she'll be wary of you. If you want to find out more, you could either gently talk to her about it, or you could even speak to a doctor and get him/her to tell you about it. Good luck.
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