A
male
age
30-35,
*ing of Amateurs
writes:Ok, so my problem is that I think I like this girl but my loner personality is making me feel like I`m pushing her away. She goes to the same school as me but is in the grade above me. We have some classes that are the same becasue the school is small. At first I tried to push these feelings back becasue I have had feelings for 2 other girls in the last 4 monthes and didn`t want the extra confusion of linking 3 girls at once, but I know I have feelings for this girl and every time she tries to talk to me I don`t really make an effort to talk back.I know I`m not a very social person and I barly talk to the other kids in my class who I have known for years, and just so you know how unsocial I am, I went to a nerd camp over the summer, thinking I`d be with people who have the same intrets, but even though I probably had tons in common with them I spent the two weeks by myself. I`m sorry for this being so long, its just I know I have troble talking and opening up with people becasue I`m used to being alone most of the time, its just I`m tired of falling for a girl and never doing anything, and I`d be just as happy to be the girl`s friend but I just can`t talk to her because of my loner personality. And everytime she talks to me I feel bad becasue she`s making the effort to talk with me but I just huddle into my shell(I do this with most people) Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Ok dude I was pretty exactly like u I'd like someone and do nothing, it would aggravate me, but I just got to new school and I noticed that this one chick was checking me out, now at first I was clueless on what to do but i got stuck in a group with her and started talking to her just causally, being myself, and then I sat next to her, well for some reason I took my phone out and she asked me for my number. That's when things got good cuz I could think about what to say and it wouldn't see odd that I paused to think, so idk try And get her number if she's interested in u she will hand it out easy, after that just if she gives u a complement, give one back, get some advice on flirting, hey I don't know what else to say it worked for me, I'm going out with the chick now
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): We all lack confidence man and sometimes we just need a boost. You need to start taking some initiative and that is healthy as it shows you dont care what people think about you. Talk to this girl pal. Dont be shy as you'll be surprised at the simple things and interests women like to talk about, especially teens cause they usually have tons of interests. If youre too shy to approach, send the girl a letter/email and explain how you feel and that youre shy. I openly told a woman this, an older one, that Im a different guy face to face as Im the shy guy and not as physically intimidating as I may look. She liked I was shy because in her experience lots of men were obnoxious and loud and so she liked the different trait. You more than likely have a positive thing going here so you should use it! Just try man...youd be surprised at results I think as you seem like a cool lad!
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 I used to be just like you. There was girl I feel deeply for, so much so that over time, the combination of anger, sadness and the throbbing heartache caused me to become quite obsessed. The truth is, I never truly got a chance to get to know her properly. Even so, she became the cause for my mental obliteration. I was angered by everything and everyone and I kept to myself like I had done, I was cold and unwelcoming. This may or may not be like you, there may or may not be any similarities but the solution that helped me will help you too.
You know that you are not making an effort, so try to make the effort to at least smile. Every time you feel that you are beginning to scuttle back into your shell, immerse yourself in the conversation, keep it going and put effort into it. Force your thoughts into every word of the conversation and keep it going. Draw yourself out from that shell of yours. If you feel she is pulling away from the conversation with a prolonged silence, mention something. That will show her that you are interested in a conversation because you are making the small effort. I know it may not be as easy as it sounds but you must try. Make it a priority to have a proper conversation with her, every time you succeed, challenge yourself to make the next conversation a little longer or a little deeper, as long as you are engaged and committed to that conversation, just to keep yourself from returning to being a loner.
We all enjoy time to ourselves and some people tend to enjoy it more than others but as humans we are social and social skills will help you. Eventually she will understand who you are and why you like to bury yourself within the sanctum of your own mind but only if you talk to her first.
I hope that helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, LaDiabla13 +, writes (2 November 2010):
She likes you, period. I know it may be hard to believe the way you are but she does. If she's willing to try and pry you open try meeting her halfway
...............................
|
