A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so my boyfriend and i are having some intimacy problems. mainly because of me tho.i was raped when i was 14 yrs old and ive been very distressed and disinterested in sex lately mainly because i hav nightmares from when it happened.i cant seem to enjoy the sex i hav with my boyfriend. ive been to a psychologist and i hav tried getting help before but i cant seem to get passed my past.i love my boyfriend dearly. what can i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
I suggest that you talk to one of the trained counselors over at RAINN. It's free, safe and confidential and they can give you a lot of helpful information. Their online hotline is at www.rainn.org.
Best of luck to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): RCN is dead on. His response was excellent. I fully support it and Im ever so very sorry you had to experience such a thing sweetness. Im sure youre a very wonderful human being and I hope that man got punished.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (2 November 2010):
 The problem I find with seeing a psychologist is that trauma it not something that you can tell your story, and expect everything to be okay. I urge you to seek help through neuro-linguistics, or hypno-therapy. This is because they focus on where the trauma is stored, in your subconscious. They'll help you separate the rape from having sex with your boyfriend, so the fear isn't present there. What happens is, rape = sex, therefore anything that is attached to sex is housed within the same fear base caused by the rape. These are neuro-associations.
I have seen where both of these methods have worked wonders. They also have seen results in weeks vs. a period of months or years.
I hope this helps, take care.
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A
female
reader, lala79 +, writes (2 November 2010):
i hope he is not pushing you which is not fair,
if he really loves you he will be patient about it,
ann if you are under pression will be more difficult,
so i think he has to understand and be patient because that
is love, until you feel sure, confident, and confortable and im sure that day will come, but will be just when you start to relax to dont let you push by anyone...:)my point of view
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