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anonymous
writes: Im having an issue with fellatio. I'm in a new relationship and i know pretty soon he's going to wonder why i havent performed oral sex on him since he's been doing so on me. My issue is that im really insecure about this. I've been told by previous partners that i could use more practice, and that they'd rather just have sex... which is rather discouraging. So i just stopped doing it on my last boyfriend, and now its been 3 years since i've done it. Although i research tecniques and everything, i still feel like im somehow going to be bad at it and we'll both we chilling there for like 45 minutes while my jaw is burning and he's falling asleep. Also, he's used to his ex-girlfriend of 5 years who obviously knows what he likes and would be far better compared to me... im worried he'll be comparing me to her. Basically... does any other woman out there have the same issue? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, Butterfly.Pretty  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 Dont be worried... I agree with all the other replies! Show enthusiasm. You can do it. Even if you are scared.. tell him you have never done it before. So if there is something you doing wrong he will tell you. Honesty is important and they will value your honesty.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): Iv been with my boyfriend nearly two months and we've started gettin sexual. Ive had sex with 8 people and not once gave a blowjob. Two of my past relationships each longer than 7 months long were based on kissing and then straight into sex :S Dont know why but there you go. Ive been looking through all the tips and techniques, because my current boyfriend has had it done to him by at least 6 other girls. Which is scary!! But i know he loves me and im planning on doin it pretty soon. Hope its sort of helped you, made you feel more comfortable that im in the same sort of situation. Wish me luck!! Good luck to you hun x x
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reader, sexylinz  +, writes (26 June 2005):
 well to start with if you're feeling apprihensive about oral sex with your new boyfriend, why dont you talk to him about it? explain how you feel, ask him what he likes and if at the end of the day he says he's not too keen ask him to demonstrate on a bannana lol. to be honest with you tho any guy that says you could do with practive and would rather just have sex is a nutter. after all practice makes perfect and who else are you gonna be able to practice on with out cheating on your boyfriend. hav you ever thought that previous boyfriends may not be comfortable with receiving oral sex and they tell you that you need more practice so not to embarrass themselves.you can only be honest and open with your new guy and hope that he understands after all understanding relationships are the best of all
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reader, communicatrix +, writes (25 June 2005):
 Listen to Bev--she's telling you straight up what works. The more enthusiasm you feel, the better, so if you can try to put aside your fears and just focus on him, how much you're into him, and how much you're into performing fellatio on him. If a little showy, over-the-top stuff helps *you* get into it more, then by all means go for it, but don't feel like you have to--the point here is to remove the pressure, not add onto it!
BTW, you didn't say how long you two had been seeing each other, but have you thought about bringing it up with him, maybe outside of when you're having sex? I'm not a guy, but I'm guessing that if you confessed how much you wanted to learn to give the Blowjob To End All Blowjobs while gazing meaningfully into his eyes and squeezing meaningfully on his upper thigh, you might just find yourself with a very willing teacher.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 June 2005):
 Speaking as a woman who really enjoys fellatio, I think the best blowjobs are ones that the woman demonstrates that she's having fun with, too.
Let him see what you're doing, whether he's propped up on pillows on the bed, or lying down on the lounge, or standing in the shower... whatever. Push your hair back, then position yourself at his side or in some way so that he can watch what you're doing.
Make a big deal of it, like some sort of ridiculously-overblown porn queen. Use both hands, your tongue, your lips, breasts and any other body part that's handy. Sure, it's silly and fake... so what?
Don't be afraid to stop and start, vary the speed, explore with your hands and fingers. Listen to the sounds he makes and work from that, for a start. Don't forget that you can also ask *him* what turns his crank, you know! You're not meant to absorb his proclivities and fantasies by osmosis...
Hopefully, a few men will wade into other answers and tell you what they like best, so you can get other ideas as well.
But don't be afraid of it. Show some enthusiasm and some gusto and it covers a lot of fumbling, I think!
Good luck with it... and remember the hoary old chestnut I once read (somewhere), "Even a bad blowjob is better than no blowjob at all!"
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