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My husband's friend is coming on to me

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Question - (12 April 2013) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a big problem and don't know how to handle it. My husband's best friend is putting his moves on me, I don't know what to Do, I already keep my distance but he finds ways to talk to me, he knows exactly how I feel but he doesn't stop harassing me. I don't know what to do I don't want my husband getting psychically hurt or getting arrested, but I do want this to stop! How should I handle this horrible situation?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI know that you are afraid of what your husband may do to this creep but honey I'd tell him.

"baby you need to know your friend is not such a friend.... and I'm really afraid that you will want to kill him when I tell you what a dog he's been but the truth is I care so much for you I don't want you to get in trouble and i'm not telling you this so you will go after him but rather so that you can tell him you know and maybe he will stop doing it"

and then tell him that his "friend" is saying things that make you uncomfortable and he would take you from hubby in a new york second. Hubby may unfriend him.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

*sorry, I meant husband, not bf.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

Wow OP, he's definitely crossing the line--in the proximity of your bf, no doubt. The guy obviously has no integrity. What a slime. It's time to settle this once and for all.

Tell him you're tired of his suggestive comments and that you're not interested in him. Then tell him that trying to steal a taken girl away from someone is a very unattractive quality. Then ignore him as if he doesn't exist. That means no eye contact, no conversation, no nothing. He's nothing, he doesn't exist to you. If he moves towards you, go stand with someone else. If there is no-one else, leave.

Then go tell your boyfriend about this and ask him to be with you whenever this guy is near. Look, you're both adults, right? I doubt your boyfriend will find this smuck worthy enough to end up in jail for. He'll probably manhandle him, make a few threats and if the guy says something nasty, your bf may even punch him, but I highly doubt he'll beat him within an inch of his life. That is, unless this creep did something to warrant that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2013):

Sometimes jerks like this don't get the hint my advice is for you to tell your husband and let him handle this situation. Your husband needs to know what kind of a person he has as a friend, and if the friend gets his ass kicked by your hubby well I guess he had it coming. Sorry you are going through this Best of Luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2013):

I did put a lot of distance between the two and I am not all polite to him. He finds any opportunity to approach me and

this bothers me a lot. He says things like what I would give

for a kiss from you. Your husband is a lucky man to wake up

next to you naked every morning. That If I would ride him he

would rock my world and I would see what I am missing out,

and that to be with him and leave my husband. Even when my

husband is present he makes advances when he knows my

husband is not looking for example he blows kisses or winks

at me. I want to tell my husband really bad, but I am not

sure if my husband will just want to talk this out like

men. This is what scares me I don't want him getting beaten

up or going to jail. But this has to stop.

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A male reader, BillyRayValentine United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

You have already told him how you feel and he still won't take the hint. Time to tell your husband. After your warning to him, if he refused to go away, then you need to tell your husband.

He will deal with this disrespectul friend, who is really not his friend if he is hitting on you, his wife.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

Be firm with him. If he touches you in a way you don't like, pull away or put distance between you two. If he makes double entendre's or says dubious stuff, tell him off. You can't leave it up to chance. You don't have to be 'nice' and 'courteous' if he isn't.

Also, can you give me some examples of his harassing? The way he approaches, what he does/says, etc. That'll make it easier for us to give you specific advice that you can use.

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