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He said I should go out with another guy, and we could maybe pick up our relationship later, I'm gutted.

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Question - (24 July 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Please help!!!!

i recently broke up with a long term partner and was lonely. I ended up chatting to a guy i work with and found he had also broke up a few months before with his long term gfriend. We arranged to meet and there was an obvious physical attraction. After meeting a few times we had sex, after i left he text saying he felt guilty and wasn't sure if he could do it again as i have only recently split with my partner and that made him feel bad.

We discussed this via text and both agreed we didnt want to rush into anything serious and would just meet up for sex as and when we could. We met up quite a few times and discussed how the situation would end.

he has text loads saying he's not too sure and wants to leave it but we always end up meeting back up.

We agreed that as soon as anyone else became involved we would end it and be totally honest if we saw anyone else. I met a guy and went for a drink with him which i openly discussed with my 'fb'. The thing is we then met up again and picked up the regular meetings. I told this guy i enjoyed his company more than the date and we saw each other for sex.

I then text the guy and he txt me back saying "i will text u later" i send him a txt a few hour later asking if he was annoyed with me for anything and he said no but he was kinda on a date. This was a shock and made me feel sick as it was the first mention i had of anyone else from him.

We met the day after and he said it wasnt planned he just bumped into someone he knew and had a drink. We had sex and then he later txt saying he thinks i should go on another date with the guy i had seen before and see how it goes. I asked if this was because he wanted to see how things went with the new girl and he said maybe but i dont know i need time to think. He also said we could always pick things back up later on if we are both single.

I am absoloutly gutted, do you think he will contact me later on and should i text him?

View related questions: broke up, I work with, text

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A female reader, Curiousbynature United States +, writes (24 July 2008):

I think he is a moron. He is not too sure about this other girl so he can’t let her go just yet. Basically he wants to test you both out until he decides he would like you to wait on the sidelines while he plays the game. I think this is a poorly chosen road for you. Do you really want to just sit back and wait for someone that isn’t too sure he wants to even be with you? Why would you do that to yourself? Do you know how many sweet sensitive guys are out there… there are a lot. Don’t get all worked up over this. Guys do these things. It makes them feel stronger than you. Trust me, I used to do it. I would date someone and once I knew he had feelings I would say you now this isn’t working for me. I had no idea the pain I was causing them, but I do now. I can’t explain to you why people do this, but he sounds like a player and probably will not change for you. If he wanted to change he would tell you and tell you you’re the only person he wants to be with. Trust me on that one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008):

He doesn't want a commitment. He wants to have sex a few times and then not have to worry about the girl anymore. You really want to stick around for that? I'm promising you there won't be fireworks or the realization that he's falling for you. He just wanted an easy girl to get off with a few times and then kick to the curb.

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