A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband has been secretly watching porn, and this has taken over our sex life, for months he was not interested in me, then when I found out why, he wanted to have sex with me to prove that nothing was wrong between us, what, I'm confused, but since then which was a few weeks ago, nothing, he assures me that he has stopped doing it, but he has not said what caused him to do it in the first place. He says he loves me and I am still attractive to him and he wants our marriage to continue, so what the hell is he talking about. I have always been willing to try new things, he was the one who wasn't bothered, he says that since being a young boy he has m/b and that has continued since we got married, I am not a prude, and I do know that it is healthy for men to do this even if they are married, but watching porn until it takes over your sex life, well I think that is just sad. I have talked to him and said this is not on, he says he is going to try to be better but I don't see any improvement, he says he is glad I caught him and is sorry, but I think he is only sorry because he got caught. I would like advice from anyone who thinks they can help, do you think he really wants to stay married? or was it boredom that sent him to the films, I'm just so confused by his behaviour.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2007): In short, I would say...either he is not being honest with you about his motivations why he started in the first place, or he is trying and you just need to give him time. Men fantasize all the time about women, it's something genetic that we do, as well as m/b, but if it is affecting your sex life, that's another thing. The normal reason for m/b is to supplement when our frequency of coitus isn't enough, it shouldn't be replacing it. Perhaps therapy is a good answer...
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