A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please Help if you can! My hubby is overseas til September..since he has been gone he has been signing up on singles sites as single, going to porn sites and even sent a sex letter to a gal that is supposed to be my friend..now, I know he has needs.. well so do I but I aint doing any of that stuff. Now he says if I would just engage in a threesome with him and another girl just once he would never do that again. I have a friend who is Bi and I used to be too but I just cant bring myself to do it. what do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): Get a divorce. He is lying to you and he wont give up. You can find someone better than him
A
female
reader, kelly44221 +, writes (19 June 2009):
 ok i have a boyfriend who pretty much wants me to do the same thing. it was actually just something i thought he was joking around about but he keeps bringing it up and bringing it up. but im my case he says he just wants to do me while i do her. he claims he wont ever touch her. well i have yet to do this and i wouldnt have a problem with it except im not really sure that i believe he wont touch the other girl. so i would say to you if you think your relationship is strong enough to go through that then go for it. if you have doubts about how this is all going to end up then i wouldnt do it. i havent and he is still there
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A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (19 June 2009):
 He is too far gone. Laying down the law etc its gone beyond that. He will never be what he was when you first married him as he has crossed the line and gone even beyond that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): I think all men would love to have 2 women in bed, sucking his cock and fucking around.Right after i got married, my husband was working nites and one morning he came home, and it was obvious he had a couple of beers. Well anyway, we were in bed fooling around and his best friend came in and my husband didn't stop touching and kissing me. (i never thought i would do this) and i said to him stop -----is here but he didn't and my husband seemed to be getting more turned on by his friend watching us. Next thing I know, the guy is touching my tits, my pussy and then he went down, I was scared and nervous but my husband was so sensitive abt my feelings and he was so nice telling me " its ok, don't worry, enjoy it he held me and watched this man eat me. Now this was not my husbands first threesome, he did it with the guy who was eating me, so it was my husband, his best friend and his girlfriend Listen, this will most likely make your husband happy and my problems with my husband are 100% better, our sex is great, we get along better, just because we had another man in our bed, and we had another woman in the bed, believe me try it, its great for the both of you. Your sex with your husband will never be the same. if you trust each other, this is something you have to do this.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Uh you need to not think about helping him..you need to divorce him.He has no regard for you whatsoever. By signing up for dating suites while he is married, and away from you its a clear indication that he is already deciding to practice this fantasy with or without you.Stop feeling like its your fault. It isnt...Your husband is a piece of shit who does not care one bit about you. When he resorts to bargaining with you to allow it, he is appealing to your sense of duty much like when someone shows a commercial with the starving kids while fat ass Sally Struthers pushes fat little feet through the shanty town after she probably ate some of the children off camera, then asks you to give money...its a farce...its a skewed sense, for he feels you are a doormat. He will not give any of the promised activities up. He is not addicted to porn..he is a straight up asshole who needs to be taught a lesson about respect and vows.The next time you see him it should be only to hand him divorce papers and to tell him you are getting tetsted for STD's...this guy is a lying creep. He most likely is already doing it.Listen to what the consensus is here...basically he is a lost cause..I say divorce his ass
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): His blackmailing you, don't do it, leave him. He wont stop even if you do a threesome for him, he'll just carry on doing what his doing now or even worse, got away from him now x
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A
female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (18 June 2009):
 You have a threesome and he will stop, cold turkey, all the wrong he is doing. I DONT THINK SO. You need to tell him that he needs to stop doing his dirt now, period; and then maybe you'll allow him to come back home in September. because he has already seriously crossed the line.
He wants to tell you what you have to do to get him to act like a husband...
You tell him what he has to do to continue to be your husband.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): i think you hb is also playing away while he is not with you. plse do not buy the crap that it will be just once. he wants an open invitation to fuck someone else with your blessing. do not let him get away with this. he is already looking out to replace you. his actions reveal his true intention. it is just a matter of time before you discover more sordid info about him. plse do not let him pressurise you into this threesome. it is only for his sexual gratification. he is a liar and a cheat.
i think you deserve better, don"t you?
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (17 June 2009):
 I'm going to say a similar thing as the rest of the responders, but perhaps from a 10,000ft altitude...
Personally, the thing that stood out most prominently from your post was that your husband is trying to lay an ultimatum on you. I believe that relationships are a living act of compromise and (hopefully) growth. In my opinion, he has proposed an ultimatum to you (without you saying what would happen if you refused to have a three-way). Your compliance with his fantasies is not your requirement... sure, explore your sexual relationship to its fullest, but this seems wrong on many different levels (and I'm thinking of him not holding up to his side of the bargain, the psychological toll on both of you, etc.).
And I suppose the other half of this "what are you getting from this arrangement?" -- you get to stay together? ...you get to experience a new sexual charge you've never had before? ...I'm just tossing these out... but, the final analysis here is that he seems to be gaining the most from this and that breaks the overall balance of the relationship, don't you think?
Not to stir the pot, but my mind wonders what would happen if you agreed to this 3-way, but with two males instead of one -- I wonder aloud what he might say to that? ...like I said, I'm just raking the mud and wondering aloud...
As far as posting a question like this... I see no harm in asking the opinions of others that are removed from your circle and might give an objective opinion. Never be afraid to ask, even if it's just for a reality check.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Your husband does not know what to be married means it seems. You should leave him now. He's up to no good.You know yourself that his request is absurd even if he did keep his part of the bargain which he obviously wouldn't. Why would he, he can befriend other internet lonely gals all the time and has no qualms about doing so. I'm surprised you posed this question. At your age your inner being knows better where your relationship is now and where it will be in a few weeks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Heh that is BS and if you do what he wants he will just want more and just keep taking advantage of you. We all have needs but we don't have to hurt the ones we are with / love to obtain them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): hey sweetie my name is norm i know its very hard for both you and your husband, but he should carry a photo of you with him and think about you and how much he is going make love to you when he comes home, he should never ask you to do something you know isnt right, it's just hes fantasy not your's, if he love's you he will give up the porn and the other lady and understand your feeling about it, i can tell you he has lust in his heart and cheating on his mined, when you should be the only woman in his heart and on his mined, you need to tell him what mean's more to you the porn of me ?? i hope i have been some kind of help to you my dear i hope to hear from you soon god bless you p/s i hope things work out for you
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): What your husband is doing is not right at all and it's making you uncomfortable and crossing your boundaries (clearly, or you wouldn't be on this site upset about it). He has to stop because it's wrong. He has no place balckmailing you!
For christs sake.. you're waiting for him while he's overseas and this is how he's repaying you? He needs to take a look around him and realize how lucky he is to have a wife who hasn't him! I'm an army wife and I know how many of those wives don't stay faithful.
You need to lay down the law, tell him that his behaviour is unacceptable and you're not going to give in to it by condoning his inappropriateness (is that a word?) by filfilling a fantasy that makes you uncomfortable.
Good greif.. this man is undeserving if you ask me. It just makes me mad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): What your hubby is suggesting isn't very believable. One memory of a threesome will replace porn every day forever? Not likely.
No way should he be asking you to do something you're so uncomfortable with. Tell him to forget it.
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