A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a question. My husband works 10 hours a day 6 days a work , he never spends time with me and my children. And to top it off I am home this summer with the kids and no money to go anywere. HE says that the money he makes is his and I cant have any. If he dose give me money it is 20.00 .Oh did I forget to menchen that I dont have a car either. We have One car and he takes it everyday to work. My question is should I try to make it work with him or get A Divores. I dont no if there is a law that says he has to give me money for my kids when we are together. please help me.
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female
reader, mwalsh +, writes (10 September 2008):
Yes, I would leave your marriage because he doesn't seem to value you or your children but I would wait until the kids are in school. That way you can get a job, start saving your "leave" money and begin to get on your feet to support your children.I am in the same position. I always worked up until a few months ago when I got married. My husband doesn't care or want me to go back to work but he gives me no money. He is a successful business owner and he does pay my bills but I have no daily spending money at all. We spend very little on my daughter but he spends gross amounts on his son which is also unfair. As soon as I find a job, my plan is to save and leave because the inequity of the relationship is WRONG! I wish you and your children the absolute best. Sometimes a woman just doesn't need a man, especially a selfish, greedy man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): If you want respect I suggest you go get a job and help pay for some of the bills and lets him do some of the baby sitting. Why do you have to depend on him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): You have received valuable answers from the "uncles" and "aunts"; we do not know your background or culture; BUT from what you have posted; I suggest you get counseling and get legal advise on your position; you cannot continue living under such circumstances; HOWEVER, best would be to get professional help; with counseling you will be able to establish if divorce is your best option or if there could be ways to salvage the marriage; with legal advise you will be able to estalbish your legal rights before considering the step of separation or divorce.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 I think we're in the presence of a very traditional man. What the poster describes is the awful way marriages used to be in Latin America. The woman was supposed to stay at home and look after the kids, like a prisoner, and the man was supposed to work all day long and then call the shots at home.
If you've been trapped doing house chores all day, for a long period, it isn't difficult to understand why this situation is unbearable and just plainly wrong. I'm afraid, however, that there might not be a middle ground here. People who have been raised to believe in this way to live married life have a very hard time adjusting to another "model".
I would suggest your talking to him and letting him know how things look from your side. Perhaps things would change. But, most of all, you need to be sure of what you do if you're to divorce, and, if you speak to him first, at least you will get a divorce knowing that you tried your best before that final step.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Some people have a pre-nup to separate what they had before marriage, but after the marriage the new assets are shared and the property of both. He is being totally unreasonable about this. If you can not change his thinking then it is time for a divorce. However, I think the 3rd person mediator idea is the best. He deffinitely needs counseling on this matter and perhaps others as well.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (8 August 2008):
 If you are a stay at home mom, taking care of his children, he needs to contribute to your ability to do things with "your" children. You should have a car, or at least some way to get around, especially if he is going to spend so much time away.
In the US, there are statistics that say a stay at home mom should be earning $30-40K a year, so where is your salary?
Your husband sounds like a very selfish individual and a very uncaring father and husband. Words need to be spoken to that affect. And he needs to change his ways or for sure, you will get half of everything...as it is rightfully yours.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (8 August 2008):
In practice, you don't have a marriage - you have a business arrangement.
He is obviously of the management religion, which teaches that money is the measure of all things. And, whatever can't be bought is certainly insignificant and probably doesn't even exist.
There ARE laws relating to support of spouses and children, whether in or out of marriage, but I can't begin to tell you the details. Before going that route, or starting divorce, try to bring the situation to his attention. This should be done by a third person - perhaps a counseling professional, or a mutual friend. It's possible that your husband can be converted to another faith.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): The money is NOT his when you get married its both of yours and he needs to know that. Why is he working so many hours are you sure he is working and do you know what he earns I am not so sure he is being honest have you seen his payslip?
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