A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dont know what to do? i feel i have no friends my age (18).i live in a small village and i went to the primary school for a few years but halfway through i went to a private school about 20 mins from my village i never really had any friends at my local primary school, anyway after my private education i went to another private school about 1/2 hour from my village, but the trouble is the only people i know are from my school i dont know anyone in my village and i have been living there for 18 years, all my friends from school like about 45 mins away so i dont see them much. i would really like to get to know some people my age from my village, the pub is where everybody hangs out but as i dont know anyone i really dont know what to do i feel i cant go down there as i will be sitting alone. i spoke to someone who was in the same situation as me they went into private education bu then they moved back to the secondary school in the village and he said one he went there he knew everyone from the village. i just dont know what to do i feel like such a loner and i dont know how to meet people in my village please help, i feel i cant just go up to people and say hi im .... as they will look at me strangely....please help!!! thank you x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dobro  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 I felt the same for a long time. To an extent I still do feel like somewhat of a loner.It was largely due to bullying in school and the general mistrust of people that followed it. After going to college, things improved. I was able to make more friends. Now, things are better than ever. Earlier this year I spent several days with a large number of strangers at a music event. Many of them are now my friends. And since then, my ability to make friends is vastly increased.I also live in a small village that has only a pub. I don't go out much either. Also, I have a friend who was educated at home for three and a half years. He's hardly been out of his house for nearly six years and it really shows. Now I'm sure the same won't happen to you any time soon but be careful.Is there a reason in your past why you feel this way?Finally, are you currently in, or about to start university? I'm 18 now and starting in September. I'm worried about how I'm going to make friends there. I'm sure with time though I will. And with time you will also.PM or email me if you want.
A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (8 August 2008):
 honey, the best thing you can do right now is branch out!first, REMEMBER: you are amazing. you deserve the best. you have something to offer to others, and it is your duty to give it to them! those people out there don't know what they are missing out on!have a mall day, a spa day, a day at the beach. do something on your own for one last day that will rejuvenate you and make you feel best about yourself. get a haircut, buy a new outfit, and then confront the world with a huge amount of self confidence!don't depend solely on school for friendship. my advice is to volunteer on the weekends at different organizations until you find one that is a good fit, where you meet people you like to be around and you feel like you are making a difference. take new classes you never thought you would take: art, dance, film or photography, sports, educational ones. get a job in a different social circle.and for heavens sakes, go to that pub where everyone hangs out! be proud to be the girl by herself! i know for a fact it is much easier to approach someone who is sitting alone than someone with friends, so people might come up to you.and if they don't, you make the first move! it is as simple as a hello, or a compliment, or a question.good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): My god its uncanny lol...! I went to a private school after being in a primary Comp, i didnt fit in at all never really did. Living in a small village half hour away didnt help, there must of been 10 young people at best. Anywhoo that is the past now. Having a social network is very nice, to some people it comes easy because of the environments they put/find themselfs in.Join cadets/ sailing/ flying / shooting / sporting / clubs etc, and the social network begins to unfold. Most importantly dont be too needy for friends it just puts people off and you dont get anywhere, it took me a few years to realise that one!It gives you a real strength having to work for your social network. Once you remember that it is about you and not them then you mind can be focused very strong.Best of luck chap
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