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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi and thank you I have been married almost 10 years. First 5 were good then it started going downhill, especially this last year. My husband can be very mean to me. Calls me stupid, idiot, dumb, b****, bast***. I think he calls me a bast*** because I dont know my biological dad. He also calls me fat and alot of other names when he has his outbursts. I have told him several times this is abuse and to stop it. Then I'm told to shut up. I should mention he smokes up alot I'm not trying to make excuses for him but if he runs out of weed his temper is even worse. It really drives me crazy this horrible attitude. He even tells me hes too special for me. He has the tendency of living in a fantasy world. Hes obsessed with power and success .I have suggested counseling but hes too special to go according to him. Any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, linmuir  +, writes (30 January 2020):
I strongly suggest you research 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder' online.
But, before you do that, leave, leave, leave and never look back.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (30 January 2020):
 Okay so do you think this all you’re worth? You’ve told him you’re not happy with how he speaks to you, you’ve suggested a way to make the situation better and he’s ignored you. What else can you do?
What’s wrong with finding someone who respects you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2020): The counseling he needs is in drug-rehab!!!
Until he commits himself to rehabilitation for his excessive drug-use; his behavior will become progressively worse. His brain is fried!
You must seek some counseling for yourself. You've remained in an abusive-marriage, in spite of how badly you're treated. You believe sticking by him will coerce him to seek help. No, that won't work. He has to be given an ultimatum, and you have to follow-through with it. For your own sake!
It doesn't seem to me that's all he's using. I think he's combining alcohol, or some other substance with marijuana. The behavior you're describing isn't typical of people who only smoke pot!
You may have to get a legal-separation contingent on him getting drug-rehabilitation. He refuses marital-counseling; so the only option left is to divorce him. If he compromises, and actually accepts your ultimatum to seek rehab; then his next step is marriage-counseling. If that is still refused. Divorce his special-ass!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2020): He sounds positively revolting . What could you possibly see in this man . You do realise this is pure abuse right ? No excuse whatsoever . You need to reach out to someone you can trust and tell them that he is doing before this escalates any further and get help
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (30 January 2020):
 Is your husband too special for a divorce? I'd be out the door and moving on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 January 2020):
 I'd leave his SPECIAL ass and move on. File for divorce and make a future for yourself without this "special" man-child.
Is he a momma's boy? Did he grow up being told just HOW special he was? And now he believes that stuff? Yet, he has to smoke weed to function. Not very special. A little pathetic for a grown ass man, IMHO.
What really do you HAVE in him as a husband and partner?
Is this how you want to live your life? He obviously think being verbally abusive his his "special" right.
Yeah, it would be a bye bye for me.
I wouldn't waste my life on someone like that. Life IS too short to live with someone who likes to treat you like crap because he thinks he is "special"...
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (29 January 2020):
 People will only treat us the way we ALLOW them to treat us. You have been ALLOWING him to treat you badly for so long that, to HIM, it is "normal".
This is who he is - an abuser. It is your CHOICE whether to ALLOW him to treat you this way. Do you not think you deserve better? Can you afford to walk away? Have you family/friends you can go and stay with next time he abuses you in this way?
Your other CHOICE is to suck it up because him changing is not an option.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2020): Yes. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Why on earth would you waste your one life on this earth with this low life scum bag who treats you like this. He IS abusive and probably dangerous as time goes by. Why would you hang on to this loser? HE is the bastard. For God's sake, get out of there and live a happy life. You cant live a happy life while you're with this arsehole. LEAVE HIM.
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