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female
,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid my husband left me 3 months ago we were married 21 years. he has told me he does not love me any moor and now he has strong feelings for a girl 15 years younger than him he is 39. When i asked him to give it another try he said no that he is going to move away and hopes for her to join him that thay talked about this. i then asked him if he had not got them feelings for her would he give it a try with me he said yes but he has to find out if it will work with them cos if he came back to me now it would always be on his mind so i got to thinking and said i loved him enought to let him go and id give him 6 mounths to find out and if it doesnt work would he try then he said yes and if it did work it would be over for us and i would have the time to move on between now and then but i love him so much the hole lot is killing me to bits do u think i done the right thing here please help am i setting myself up for a fall or do u think he will be back now that iv let him do this also he said its not sexul and if it did go there he would tell me please help me am i right
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female
reader, jabey  +, writes (22 November 2006):
Right, put on your make up do your hair and if you can afford it buy some new clothes. Engineer get togethers as friends with him. When you do put on the best act ever act confident sure of yourself and happy. Then get out there, meet new people take up a hobby etc. Then gently drop in to conversation you have been asked on a date and that you are going whether it be true or not. Now this action will make him sit up and notice you. At the moment he has all the options take his security away from him and my god you see how quickly that man will come running back to you. I know thats a really hard thing to do when your heart is breaking , but think about it, remind him why your special and why he fell in love with you. Be flirty but dont declare your need or undying love that will just make hime feel totally in control.Be strong, and he will only admire you for this, and when he realises a twenty four year old cant remember The Jam, and all those things us maturer ladies can, and your emotional maturity compared to a 24 year olds, he will be begging for you back. Then my girl it is up to you to decide whther you even want him !!!!!!
A
female
reader, SERENE  +, writes (22 November 2006):
Frankly, I would say "Get out" and don't come back. Why are you settling for "second hand" goods. If he has decided to make this choice, and you agreed so readily, then I think the "going" is definately not so good between you and your husband. Stand up and be counted, its difficult to let go of a marriage that's so old, but you have to. He has already moved on, and you have to do the same.
I wish you all the best, and I really hope you make the right choice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): Um, NO, are you kidding, giving him permission to be with another woman for 6 months?
I would have thrown his stuff out on the sidewalk and said don't let the door hit you in the behind on your way out, and then let the chips fall where they may.
If you compromise on this affair, he will do it over and over again, and you are not demanding respect or expecting him to honor your marriage and life together.
What a sleaze, do you have any children? What are they going to think of this "arrangement"?
You are kidding yourself if you think this is not sexual between them and that he will let you know when it is, it already is or he would not be doing this, guys think first with their other head!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006):
I think you are being very fair.
Six months might be a little tight, but he is almost certain to realize that a new and different with the 24 year old but not really better. Eventually they wont even have the advantage of being new anymore. Every day the good times you had will weigh more and more.
The main reason guys fall out of love with their wives is if they good nutty. Men want their wives to stay they way they were when they married- bodily (would be nice) and in outlook.
You sounds very rational, reasonable and not a screamer and threatner. Thats someone to value regardless of their age- I think that he'll wise up and you get the chance to take him to therapy to work through some of his issues.
good luck.
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