A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been married for three years and my husband is on his second tour in iraq!!! i cheated on him for the first time with one of my co-workers and i feel so guilty and horrible, i dont know if i should tell him im scarced to. should i just take it to the grave?
View related questions:
co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): My wife did this to me when I was in Iraq. Noone cares about someone slutting around, but when you do it to one of our soldiers while he is off for the better of our country and way of life, it can never be forgiven.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2007): At the end of the day, you both are living two entirely different lives, joined by a union you chose to make. It is a terrible stress on anyone being apart, husband/wife, children with their parents sometimes however, I wouldn't tell him. You know it was a mistake. Please let this go and think of ways you can keep your relationship with your husband positive by communicating in a positive way. Does he ever talk to you about how he feels for you? What he misses about home or you? Talking as friends will ultimately solidfy what you have together. Put it behind you and just be there for each other. These are terrible times and you will both want and have wonderful expectations of what you will have together when he returns, so make it happen with him being involved. It must be terrible not to be hugged, kissed or be intimate but think about it in your mind of what you feel when you think of him when your together. I would also join a support group for women whose loved ones are serving. I am sure there will be some great advice and counsel for you. Please don't beat yourself, it was a mistake but make some efforts to learn how to deal with you and him not being together. Really look into a support group or start one up...
...............................
A
female
reader, Keria  +, writes (25 April 2007):
How long has he been away for? A women needs sex, you know. You have to keep sex separate from love, and don't be so hard on yourself.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont feel what i did was right in any shape or form and i know that, what i did was wrong. i thank you all for being honest at least with me!! if i wasnt ready for another persons piont of view i would have never posted this in the first place. i have cut all contact with the other party involved and yes i was protected but i will take your advise BLUE RAT and get checked out!!! im still not sure what i am going to do of course, but i have found other ways to fill my empty void that i have been feeling. i have been going to the gym and have enrolled myself back in school.
...............................
A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (23 April 2007):
yours is a different circumstance as to most peoples so i wont be as hard on you as i am on the usual liers and cheats.
your undoubtably feeling lonely and 'have urges' and without a partner around your going to be tempted. but im not here to make excuses for you, the truth is you whent back on a promise made to your husband to remain loyal and faithfull, youve broke a bond of trust.
by all means continue to lie to him, but liers get caught and the situation is then worse because you lied about it.
tell the truth, and hope your marriage can be saved, living with guilt is worse.
in the future, keep your legs shut hun
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr. Mark  +, writes (23 April 2007):
You are going to get mixed reviews on this one. Some here feel strongly that you should tell.
I personally do not believe you should. As "Blue Rat" says, it will only bring needless heartache to him.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): If you value any part of your relationship, you should tell him. Your scared of telling him because he will leave you, but thats his choice to make. You can't make it for him. Open up about it, tell him about it.
...............................
A
male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (23 April 2007):
If you're sure he couldn't find out any other way then no I wouldn't tell him. What good would it do? It would only bring heartache, anger, tears, sadness, misery and also permanently damage his trust in you. And for what benefit? None that I can see. The other issue is of course why you cheated, and of course whether you might do so again, but your question isn't about these issues it's not for me to judge you. To use your own words, I would take your secret to your grave. Oh, and if you had unrpotected sex, make sure you get checked out before he comes home. Passing on an STD is a pretty sure-fire way to let the cat out of the bag. Not to mention the fact it would be irresponsible and rather add salt to the wound!All the best.
...............................
|
