A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can sex save a relationship? I love my bf to bits but things are really bad at the moment we not having sex yet but are thinking about it (its his first not mine) but i don't know if we should or not can sez really save a relationship please help we never really talk any more and thats the prob i love him to bits and would do any thing for him but i don't know if sex will help bring us closer Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): I think it really depends on the problem that is the reasion for the cause. I know it saved mine. I was really frustrated with alot of things and i was also not having any sex at the time. I was really stressed out and it was geting worse and worse every day. My girlfirend got mad about something and i went crazy over it and blew it way out of praportion. When we made up we had make up sex just in the moment kind of thing and it really made me feel much better then i had of before
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): I think if you consider having more sex to help try to salvage a relationship, you might want to think deeper and wonder how strong the relationship is in the first place. HOWEVER, if the relationship's problems was due to the lack of sex - eg: horny wife not getting enough sex from hubby, then well, that's a different matter altogether.
Now if we were to put it back into perspective, and that the relationship woes weren't about the lack of sex, then I would say that no, it wouldn't be a feasible way of trying to save a relationship using sex. The thing is, with a recent ex of mine, we continued to have lots and lots of sex. We even started making homemade porn together - dressed her up in super slutty clothing, 4 inch heels, even turned her into a naked cat with nothing but fuzzy ears, fuzzy paws, and a semi-transparent white thong [dreamy expression]...
Right.
Anyway, even in the last 3 weeks before we broke up for a final time, we were having wild sex. Ah, wild sex... [dreamy expression]
So, there you have it. Seriously, if you have to use sex as the tool to try to save a relationship, it just seems weak and premature. What do you think, after reading our comments?
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A
male
reader, lupa-k +, writes (23 April 2007):
If things have got to that stage, I'd doubt that sex could save things, and much more likely just complicate things further. Someone once said that men need sex to feel close to women, and that women need to feel close before they are able to have sex.... I just suspect that if you were to do it you could both really finish regretting it
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (23 April 2007):
 I think, sex will help bring oyu closer, but only for a short time and it will not at all save your relationship. Sex is not a panacea to use for such things! In me opinion sex is a thing for a really close relationship where one partner loves the otherone very deelpy and one can really trust the other one. Only then sex will be one of the nicest things in the world.
If you only use sex as a tool kit, it will not be as nice as it could and it will only be frustrating. At the end there will not be the expected benefit and all will be worse.
I myself used sex in the hope it will save my relationship years ago. The result was that the friendship brock and I felt used of him just (it was my fault too, because I agreed and had a wrong meaning of all this, but he agreed for just having fun and sex...)
So my advice would be that you await untill things will get better. And if not, there is only little value to carry on a relationship which doesn't work in your age. In German we say "Besser ein Ende mit Schrecken, als ein Schrecken ohne Ende", which means "Better an end with fright then fright without an end". There is waiting a Mr. Right for you, but that doesn't need to be the first man you meet. So maybe you two need some space to think about your relationship. Wait and see, I'm sure you will find out what is best for you.
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