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My husband hates me

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *rs.Ward writes:

My husband and I have been married for less then a year. I love my husband very much, but lately I feel as tho he hates me. It hurts so bad the way he treats me. He calls me names, threatens divorce all the time and tells me he doesn't care about us anymore. I dont know what to do anymore. I have tried everything, showing more love, listening more and be more attentive. He still treats me like I am nothing. He had no respect for me and makes me feel less then a woman. I want to work things out with him, but don't know what to do. Please help, I feel lost.

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A female reader, sweetiebabes Philippines +, writes (21 January 2011):

sweetiebabes agony auntI am a Filipino, I don't know how it is in USA in a situation like this, but as a woman I can share you my opinion.

You have tried your best to stay with your husband even he was and is disrespectful to you but don't you think it is time now to think too about yourself and set your foot firmly on the ground and not to be too much agreeable and malleable? If you can ask him to have a heart to heart talk with you, tell him how he made you feel, how it affects you and how hurt you are. If he won’t listen to you and instead find fault why he acted this way, step back and stay away for awhile. This way and by giving each other some space you can have a clear mind on what to do. If you continue to live with him, he will continue to disrespect you and will not value your presence, the world is too small for you and him if you will stay with him and the more you will feel low and hurt and will feel self-pity.

Space is what you both need. When everything seems to cool down and you are both ready to talk, you can resolve your marital issues and start all over again.

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A female reader, Aida United States +, writes (21 January 2011):

Aida agony auntleave his ass.

trust me there's someone out there who'll treat you a lot better than him.

don't waste anymore years of your life in this unhappy marriage.

divorce him and find someone who'll treat you with the respect you deserve.

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A male reader, faenon Australia +, writes (21 January 2011):

faenon agony auntIs there a cause for his change in attitude? You married young but then again I know people who married at 17 and are still strongly together.

Have a word with hubby see why he is treating you in this way and maybe suggest councelling to work through the problem if you guys cant solve it without outside help.

There is always a reason to why someone behaves illmannered towards a loved one but without talking to him and finding out what the problem is you'll have no way of knowing how to fix it without talking to him first.

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A female reader, PatientlyWaiting1 United States +, writes (21 January 2011):

Back off. You tried giving more and that did not work. Something had to lead up to this. Does he think you smother him maybe? Anyway, you tried giving more, now try giving less. Focus more on you. Still be a wife to him but do less and do it more on your time. He has to miss you and right now he does not have that opportunity.

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A male reader, CJH United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2011):

CJH agony auntIm puzzled, why is it that you think YOU are the one who needs to change? The guy is treating you like dirt, dont allow it to go on. If hes this bad after just a year of marriage, imagine how bad he`ll be next year and the year after etc.

We all make mistakes in life, it seems to me like youre dicovering that trusting this idiot with your love and affection was a huge mistake in itself.

Far be it from me to tell you to walk away from a marriage BUT this isnt a marriage. It sounds like sheer hell.

I very much doubt anything you can do other than showing him you are prepared to walk away will make the slightest bit of difference.

Give it a go, forget loving him more or being ultra nice to him. Tell him point blank that he either starts to have some resepct or youre going to leave him.

See how that works.

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