A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband does not like my breasts. Whilst I am a dd cup he prefers smaller breasts. I am not prepared to undergo surgery however this is really undermining my self confidence with him as I feel self conscious. Knowing that he loves me and married me despite his preference for smaller breasts is great but how do I overcome these feelings of self consciousness with him? Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): OP does your husband fulfil every single one of your preferences? He doesn't and you know it.
Now if he complains about them and treats you badly for having big boobs then you have an issue with him. If on the other hand he only mentioned his preference and still loves your boobs and finds you sexually attractive then the issue is yours to deal with and you should try to not let it bother you. It's very rare that our partner fulfils all of our preferences but generally that doesn't make any difference.
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (22 April 2012):
 Any advice? Get him told!! Would he like it if you told him you would like him to have a different sized penis?? What he said was selfish and wrong and you need to tell him that. Your perfect as you are and he needs to see that or somebody else will!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): Has he said that? Or are you assuming it based on something he watches? It stands to reason that you WILL feel self conscious while around him if your bust is on show....because you think he doesnt like but maybe your husband is the problem...not your bust size.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 You need to start by accepting yourself. Whatever your husband thinks does not dictate what you should or should not look like! His preference doesn't matter!! He is not God, he's just a man who loves you. Start by loving yourself and accept that this man can love you without there being a need for "perfection". He loves your breasts as they are, and if small breasts were important to him he'd not be with you, simple as that.
Start accepting your own body. Surgery shouldn't even be on your mind, I'm surprised you even brought that up, despite saying you don't intend to do it. Just bringing it up shows that it's been on your mind. Ask yourself why you let what someone else thinks dictate how YOU should feel about your body. If anything it is your husband who should be worried about how he can "deal" with this, not you!!
You're the one who is allowing yourself to get self conscious about this. Your insecurity around this comes primarily from within yourself. Realizing that is the first step in handling these feelings and insecurities that you are allowing to build up in yourself.
This all comes down to how far you are going to let what other people say or think affect how YOU should feel and think. What other people say may not be true even. Your husband might, at the end of the day, prefer you with large breasts to you with small breasts.
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A
female
reader, Evollove +, writes (19 April 2012):
Wear booter bras, lower cut tops and show him that you are proud of your breasts...could he not like them because he knows other men will?...maybe this is his insecuries. Some men are good at deplacting their insecurites...be a double D and be proud! If he doesnt like them then its his touch luck. Harsh, but true.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 The usual complaint is that breasts are small. I agree with Tisha: Did he say he doesn't like them?
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 He should accept u for who u r unless he is no longer sexually attracted which is a must have in marriage. but thats rare that that happens so if hes unhappy with your breasts you need reassurance from him that your new ones are attractive and he likes them. tell him to not put u down but to tell u what he likes about ur physique.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 Did your husband actually say out loud to you that he does not like your breasts? Could you please explain how you know he does not like your breasts?
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (19 April 2012):
 your husband is being thoughtless saying that to you. their is more to a woman than just boobs. her heart, her emotions,her smile, the whole package.
"how do i over come these feelings of self consciousness" you can think of things that he admires of you. it was not smart of him to tell you he did not prefer your boob size. he ought to be happy and enjoying them.
you know who you are, what makes you who you are, what he has said that compliments you. focus on the positives , not the negatives. he was being immature,selfish, and thinking of himself instead of how his words would effect you. sometimes we 'people talk before we think'.
you are more than boobs, and a lot of guys like big boobs, including me. lol
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A
female
reader, odeer123  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 So he's told you he prefers smaller breasts? Thats an interesting preference, wouldn't you agree? :) My dear friend, I wouldn't worry. Are you having any issues in your relationship other than your self-consciousness? If not than your husband loves you and I think he's probably not letting on the fact that despite his 'preference' towards smaller breasts he probably loves your boobs ANYWAY, hehe.
This might sound like a very crude statement but lets say us girls all 'prefer' a very large penis... well, I certainly don't dislike my boyfriends penis even thought it's not the biggest. :D
I think you need to gain a little perspective basically. I think your husband probably loves your breasts. He loves you, and loving you is physical too.
You could certainly talk to him about it. Hey, who else is as close to you as your husband? You should be able to talk to him about anything. Tell him that you're worried that your breasts are too big and you feel reallyyy self conscious because you know he likes small breasts. See what he says.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): Yea he married you because boobs are one tiny part of you, you are focusing on something you say he doesnt like.You do not have to be grateful for him marrying you and accepting your so called fault.
You are gorgeous as you are, you are packaged the way nature wanted,so, stop worrying.
If he is telling you repeatedly he doesn't like your boobs, tell him to go get a nose job or his ears done as you actually don't like them that much
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