A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband tells me he loves me but he has been texting this lady since 2008 up until now. I see the number on the phone bill but he doesn't know I know.What should I do?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): hi, there is never going to be a "right moment". the longer you put it off, the harder to confront him. have you decided what you are going to do if he wants out of the marriage. please make a list of what you want to discuss with him. be strong, firm and in control of the conversation. don't be afraid and just tell him what you are feeling, the betrayal, the anguish and the hurt. please, sooner rather than later beacuse the longer his affair continues, the worse it gets.
please post another update when you confron him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe news that i have heard thru the grapevine is true because the person tole me stuff that I didn't tell them and that they said my husband said. I haven't confronted him about the number on the bill, but he is still texting her.And I defintely know that she is not a co-worker. Yes I am strong and I am very concerned about him.We are in a very awkward situation right now.Everytime I think is the right moment to say something he says something that makes me back down.But I have to talk to him at some point. Please give me more feed-back
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): "I heard some news thru the grapevine" what gossip did you hear and is there any element of truth in them.have you confronted your husband about his affair?
...............................
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (14 August 2009):
 Ask him if he's unhappy in your relationship and ask him to tell you what it is that's bothering him. There's a lot of issues going on there. The fact that you're being tolerant and not jealous tells me that you are very strong and more concerned about him than even he is.Most flings are just that. They have no actual meaning. But some affairs are in fact driven by intense love and passion.If he was truly into another woman and was in love with her, he'd have probably walked by now. You seem to be fairly stable and rational, therefore strong and capable. I doubt he would have any qualms about leaving you if he felt he should.You could also ask him about the number on the bill. But I would only ask him, not accuse him. Its possible this is a co-worker and not a lover.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 August 2009):
So have you confronted him, told him you are not happy?
If so and he hasn't changed then you may have to consider leaving.
Sometimes, happiness is worth more than staying with a man you once loved.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have not been happy for a long time with my
husband. I tried and tried and tried to work
things out. We have been married 29 years
but he never really wanted to go anywhere,
never wanted to be around his family or my family
I don't feel like a wife I feel like roomates.
I AM NOT HAPPY WITH HIM. I DO LOVE HIM BUT
I HATE HIS WAYS.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your reply'sI will not stand for an affair.My husband and I have not gone awayanywhere for years. He is always working (so he says) I heard some news thru the grapevine
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Well you could have a try at texting her, and engauging her in a dialog, pretending to be him and see what happens...
Your message doesn't say if you think that he's sleeping with her, or if you care... I suspect that you do, and that you're not sure that you want the relationship to end, or simply for him to stop.
I'd gather the evidence, have a conversation and see if he's truthful and have a frank discussion. If you want to have an open relationship, and share a house and bed, while each of you is free to sleep descretly with others that's up to you... if you want a faithful solemate, then you'd best have a conversation with him...
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 You have some choices:
1-Bring it to his attention that you suspect something
2-Say nothing and ignore it.
Although I am not a fan of option 2, some people live in denial and it works for them...knowing but never confirming. It really depends on if his affair would bother you, or if you come from a background and belief that this is just the way some people are. I think this is very unhealthy, but I know some men and women in relationships that just expect their spouses (both genders) to be unfaithful at points, so they just do not confront them, figuring the affairs are not a threat to their relationship.
I prefer option 1, as I think it is always best to know the truth.
In option 1, you have to decide if the nature of the affair would be enough for you to end the relationship, or if you want to attempt to work through the affair, and mend what was missing the relationship.
Affairs are not the real root cause of the problems in a relationship...they are usually a symptom of the underlying issue that the couple has not yet addressed.
Once you confirm that there is an affair going on (although you are suspicious, it has not been found out), you will be in a better position to know what to do next.
One last thing...an affair does not mean he does not love you. It is possible to love more than one person, and usually that love manifests in different forms. Even if he is having an affair, don't make any assumptions about his feelings for you. His affair may have nothing to do with what you are and are not doing.
-Frank Kermit
www.franktalks.com
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (29 July 2009):
Ask him who the number is on the bill.
If he comes clean then tell him you don't like it and want it to stop.
If he lies then call the number and ask her what their relationship is.
Take action!
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (29 July 2009):
 have you got any idea of what the texts say as it could be completely innocent although it does seem a little fishy?only you can decide whether you forgive and forget or whether you confront him about it and possibly loose your relationship.in your case in my opinion id confront him ask him what all this is about and then take it from there
...............................
A
female
reader, Dreamerx +, writes (29 July 2009):
Your husband may tell you that he loves you , yet if you really did love and care about you he would have no reason to cheat.Also this guy has betrayed your trust in him , if he so called loved you he would tell you about this other woman so you were not loving someone who did not love you back. Do you really want to be with someone who does not care about you or how you feel ? or even does not love you ?
I think you should confront him about this cheating and see what he has to say for himself . Let him know that you do not want to be with someone that betrays your trust . Although you may love him alot , think how he made you feel when you found out ? Do you want to be with someone who makes u feel like that . Maybe you are not with the right guy, let him go.
...............................
|
