A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband cheated on me with a married woman. I found out by accident and it has wrecked what was a great relationship between he and I. He is sorry, won't do it again, blah blah blah.We have a stormy road ahead as I can't let it go. We have 3 girls that are young and they will be forever scarred unless I can find a way to forgive him. He and the other woman had casual encounters and it all stopped before I found out. However, I am still deeply hurt that he could betray me. further, how do I know that he is telling me all that happened and the truth? I'm convinced that he won't do it again. He's crushed, will go to counciling, everything I need him to do. Do I need to know everything? Is it healthy for me to know everything?I've contacted her a few times via e-mail and she seems embarrassed, remourseful, and indignant about her actions. What about her husband? Did she tell him? Should I care? Should I call him? They have a family too. Am I being vindictive. I am in pain and I get angered at the fact that she might be getting out scotch free...
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female
reader, Tarawr +, writes (19 February 2010):
 I think her husband should know that she betrayed him. You don't have to tell him, because the truth will most likely come out.
And it's good that you want to forgive him. It's only natural that you want to know all that happened, and you deserve to know what went on. He owes it to you to tell you. Don't stop until you get the entire truth. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): I know exactly how you feel. The same thing recently happened to me but this was not the first time. I forgave him the first time but now I am not sure if I can anymore. We are still together supposively "trying to work it out" but its not there for me anymore. I am trying to forgive him but I can not let it go. We have a 10 year old son and I feel like I am still there only because of him and how it will make him feel if we separated. My best suggestion to you is make sure you are happy with your decision, so many times we as women get so wrapped up into other people and other things that we forget about ourselves and start settling. Our spouses will only do what we allow them to do. Like me I forgave him the first time and now he has done it again, I am almost thinking that he feels all he have to say is I am sorry and it will never happen again and I will forgive him. Stay prayerful and always remember "everyone deserves to live their life happy".
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A
female
reader, Chantelle x  +, writes (19 February 2010):
 I think you need to talk to your husband about how you are feeling as clearly you have many questions that you want answering. In my honest opinion if you have so many questions and doubts is the relationship worth it, i know you have children but in the long term it will be much better surely. My dad cheated on my mum when i was little, i was six at the time and my brother was two and my sister was eight, we all needed our dad but as gutted as i was i am glad they did split as it allowed them to move on and stopped all the pain it was causing us as a family. Mum and dad couldnt be happier now.
We used to hear mum on the phone to her friend asking whether she should tell the husband of the wife, dad had an affair with but she didnt because it could have brought more hurt to the family. It is your choice at the end of the day but that is my view.
Hope this may have helped. Good luck xx
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