A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband cheated on me. The thing is that the girl keeps bugging him and saying she wont leave him alone because he has hurt her so much. What does she means with that? I read this on a letter she wrote to him. Why is she so insistent?
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 You step in and tell her to back off. If she doesn't, I believe your country as well offers restraining orders. I'd seek one. It's one thing to be involved with cheating, but this behavior is abnormal.
A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (9 November 2007):
 She probably needs her own closure. And I'm not saying this in her defense because what happened was wrong from the beginning, but had he been single, most couples do have some sort of closure and I can guarentee you he promised her a relationship where he was going to leave you...basically promising her the world so to speak. If your husband really does not want to speak to her anymore and told her that he is staying with you then in time she will ween off. She is hurt from the promises he made to her. However, depending how long they were together, he could have feelings for her and is trying to adjust himself by ignoring her letters or emails and work his own problems out in his head. Hopefully your husband is being honest with you as he should have been with her. Yes, it takes two to tango, and who knows what he told her and she honestly believed him. That's the problem when this happens....he betrayed you...and I'm sure you have trust issues now which you should....but think about it, he did her too. So...what does that tell you?
If he came clean with you from the beginning and said he did wrong, not from getting caught either, he most likely wants to work it back with you. But if he got caught and they'd been together awhile....I would be more concerned and asking plenty of questions before it happens again, unless you laid the law down and scared the crap out of him. Just a thought to think about.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): I agree. You hubby probably told her anything under the sun becuase he just wanted to get her into the sack. And she probably believed it because it was what she wanted to hear at the time and it lets her off the hook for setting herself up to be used.
It's his problem to clear it up. DO NOT get involved. If this girl gets a "get lost" message from you, then she'll write it off as you competing for your hubby rather than him wanting her gone himself.
In most cases all he would have to do is be brutally honest with her. But he's probably avoiding that because it makes him feel like dirt and cuts off any future playing around with her.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Hi,
He probably promised her the world. Then like all cheating husbands when things got difficult he dumped her. He was after sex she thought she could lure him away from his wife. She didnt count on his cowardice.
I don't know what to suggest outside of a restraining order.
Your husband should be doing all the work though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): This girl has psychological issues or she would have never gone after your man in the first place, she has abandonment issues or daddy issues or worse. Your husband needs to cut all contact with her, and if he has to be very harsh, any bit of kindness or courtesy will be taken by her as a sign of hope that she will get him back.
She has chosen to be a direct threat to your relationship, this speaks volumes about her character, and you need to point this out to your husband....although of course he cheated, and he needs to first make you understand every day the depth of your hurt, and his sincere apologies are just the beginning of rebuilding the trus that was lost between you both.
Get a restraining order, this sends a clear message, stay away from my family.
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A
female
reader, whiteshadow +, writes (8 November 2007):
 step aside a second that your husband has cheated on you and you must feel very bad in millions of ways but, if you look at it from her point of view.she obviously must of liked him alot.I think she might of expected your husband to leave you to be with her but your husband never and your husband should be really lucky he is still still by your side. Theres only so much a women will follow a man around. If you keep her as far away as possible..she will soon fade away and realise shes made a big mistake inless your husband eggs her on or takes her back behind your back.
Hope this helped... i dont think im very good at this type of thing..n im new so
good luck anyways :)
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