A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi i would love to hear peoples opinions on this situation. I found out 2 months ago my partner of 7 years who i have been with since i was 17yrs old and i have a daughter with has been cheating on me with multiple people. One of the girls he has been seeing on and off for the past 3 years, i didn't know although i had my suspisions. I had confronted this girl a few times but she had denied it. Now this is the weird thing i started chating to this girl to find out what happened between her and my partner, but now i'm finding that she is a really nice girl, someone that in other circumstances i would probly be great friends with!! I have found that we have now just started to msg each other for chats, i'm even starting to think of her as a friend!! Am i crazy to think that way? Am i setting myself up to get hurt? My partner told her a lot of lies about his and my relationship, that we were just living together for our daughter and we wern't together anymore. I almost feel sorry for her. I guess i just want to know if everyone thinks her and i being frieds is a really bad idea? I would never trust her near my partner (thats if we stay together we're still trying to wade through all this mess and decide what to do).I would appreciate your help. Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, selflove-always-first  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I feel the same way you feel with this girl my husband had an affair with. I feel I would like to meet her or talk to her on a friendly way, as I see both of us as victims of him. Ok, lets rephrase that, I'm not the victim anymore. But anyways I know your feeling, just realize that if you continue this "frienship" it will only maintain the drama your guy is creating and you will never move on from your situation. You should deal with your partner i.e. what your gonna do with him, not him with you (you call the shots on your life, NOT him), drop her, and move on with your life with or without him. Good Luck and love yourself first.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): I think the person that you have the difficulties with is your partner, he is lying to her about you and vice versa, in a committed relationship this is a really bad sign....he is not committed to you and you have to ask yourself why. Perhaps he feels trapped in your relationship because you became pregnant and he feels he "has" to be with you and do the responsible thing, and he devalues you because he did not choose to make a family with you.
I would consider getting some marital counseling and I would consider the fact that he may not chose to be faithful to you or to love you for the long haul. I know this is very painful, and I don't want to tell you that you must end this relationship especially when a child is involved.
I don't think it would benefit you to be this woman's friend, she is not your friend, she is just someone whom your boyfriend took advantage of too......you need to be speaking to him not her about this situation now that you know the facts.
Good Luck.
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