A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i'm not sure if she is cheating on me. i have never had a good relationship. every woman i have been with has either cheated on me, used me, stole from me. you name it. they have done it in the worst way. i seem to be way too forgiving and i get walked on. but i finally met a woman almost a year now we have been together, but she is home alone all day when i work. and all these coincidences keep happening that make me think that she might be cheating. there is no solid proof there at all, just things i hear people say. not sure if the people i work with are screwing with my head or if i am right or if it is all just coincidence. usually when i suspect the woman is cheating, she is. but with no proof and the way that she acts tells me that she isn't cheating. she is so loving and sweet. she does anything for me and tells me every day how much she loves and cherishes me. i think deep down that i am wrong but i am struggling every day to believe her. she says that there is no way to prove to me that she is not cheating and that she has never given me a reason to not trust her and that i can't let my past effect our relationship. i know this and i am trying real hard to just stop thinking it but i can't. what can i do? i don't want to kill this beautiful relationship that i waited so long for to have. how can i make myself trust her?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): i have to say this is how im treating my girlfriend right now and she also has not shown any signs of cheating,no new positions in sex,no excuses not to see me,still doing everything she can for me so why are like this,she is no way like my ex girlfriends,she is beautiful,smart,intelligent,great in bed,yet im driving her away with suspicion and i can stop it
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Remember from when you were cheated on and you knew before hand, wasn't that a deep down feeling. That's why they call it a gut feeling.
We tend to worry about the possibility of something happening. We do that because of our own insecurities. You need to understand that cheating is a selfish action. Once to satisfy their desire or want. It's not directed toward you personally, all though it affects you. Understand that it's a choice they made, but you had a choice too, not to be with a cheater. That's why it's very important to base your relationships on more than a physical attraction. There are many people who never cheat and never will. They believe in the unity of relationships and wouldn't do anything to ruin that.
You need to extend her trust because until she proves you wrong, she doesn't deserve to have you judge her because of what happened before.
Take care.
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