A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So there's this guy. Who I've known for five years, but really never felt anything toward romantically. He's my best guy friends and has helped me through alot but the thought of dating him, let alone kissing him, or holding his hand creeps me out. We hungout tonight and when I walked him to the door he kissed me. I didn't kiss him back or even say anything about it. I hoped if I prented it didn't happen he'd get the hint that I'm not interested in him that way. But I don't know what to do, I really value him as a friend but I'm afraid he's taken all the trust I have in him as a "Best Guy Friend" as me trusting him in a more intimate way. How do I let him down gently, without hurting him, or losing my best guy friend?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 November 2011):
You need to tell him you just don't feel any chemistry, don't string him along.
A
female
reader, Claraw1 +, writes (10 November 2011):
You just need to sit him down and be honest with him. Let him know that you do care about him as a friend, but only as a friend and that for you it can't be anything more. Tell him that he can't kiss you again, you don't want to hurt him, but you simply don't feel anything romantic for him. Be firm with him, and it should work out. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (10 November 2011):
Be honest with him. Let him know that you value your friendship- with him and you don't want to ruin that. Let him know that though you didn't say anything initially about the kiss, you do feel some type of way about that, and you would prefer to just keep things on a friendship level.
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A
female
reader, Roxypuss +, writes (10 November 2011):
Be straight up, 'look I want to be friends and I don't want anything more please don't kiss me again, I don't feel I've ever sent out messages to suggest I like you in that way and I really hope our friendship isn't based on you just wanting to sleep with me.' It's up to him what he does with that information but he won't get hurt by mixed messages and he won't hurt you by springing a kiss on you that wasn't wanted.
If you're too nervous to say it in person, messaging him on fb is better than not saying it at all and will let him save face. I've had to do this with a friend before and it works. He may continue to fancy you but he'll realise it's just fantasy and it'll enable him to not create any real longing for you, quite a few friendships of the opposite sex have to have this 'talk' at some point once it's out of the way the friendship is more relaxed.
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A
female
reader, goldie22 +, writes (10 November 2011):
You need to tell him the truth hun. By acting like it didnt happen, he probably thinks that what he done was ok and may try it again.
Ask him if you can meet up to talk. Explain to.him in the same way that you have to us here. He is A good friend who is always there for you And you dont want to lose him. That you.value his friendship greatly and you think of him as a brother because he is your closest guy friend and the last thing you want to do is hurt his feelings but you just dont feel like that about him. If he is a good friend he will understand. Best of luck hun x
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A
female
reader, goldie22 +, writes (10 November 2011):
You need to tell him the truth hun. By acting like it didnt happen, he probably thinks that what he done was ok and may try it again.
Ask him if you can meet up to talk. Explain to.him in the same way that you have to us here. He is A good friend who is always there for you And you dont want to lose him. That you.value his friendship greatly and you think of him as a brother because he is your closest guy friend and the last thing you want to do is hurt his feelings but you just dont feel like that about him. If he is a good friend he will understand. Best of luck hun x
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