A
female
age
26-29,
*urderous_daydreams
writes:Please help me! My best guy-friend said he loved me, so I had sex with him and I got pregnant. I'm only thirteen, so I was scared, and then I had a miscarriage, he got mad at me for getting pregnant, then he got mad at me because the baby died. He is making me hurt in all kinds of ways, but I keep telling him he's not hurting me at all. Why does he confuse me? First he's mad at mebecause he broke the condom, now he's mad at me because he accidentily caused my miscarriage, and I tried to tell him he didn't mean to. Is he more mad at himself or at me? Please, somebody help me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): I think this boy has caused you enough hurt and damage. The best thing for you to do now is to stop seeing him. He is not good for you. Concentrate on your school work and make new friends. This guy is hurting you and is slowly dragging you down. He is destroying your youth and is not giving you the love and respect that you need and deserve.Stop all contact with him.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 October 2008):
 At 13 you shouldn't be having sex, just because he says he loves you. So, he says what you want to hear, but then takes no responsibility for his actions.
How did he cause the miscarriage? Your body might have been not prepared to be pregnant. There was a girl on here one who answered a question of if having sex at 12 hurt. She said, she did, and got pregnant, had the baby who was still born (dead at birth), then her doctor said, giving birth did damage and she would never be able to get pregnant again.
You'll have plenty of time for sex and babies. Focus on growing from teen to young adult, without adding this level of drama to your life. Your adding adult level problems to your young life. This can be not only damaging, but very overwhelming. If the hurt from the miscarriage continues, I strongly urge counseling. You may not think so, but I've treated numerous women you lost a baby at an early age and their now in their 30's and 40's.
I'm not lecturing you. I'm being truthful by years of working with people in these situation. I hope all works out with you. Take care.
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A
female
reader, amybaby  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 for one you should not be having sex at your age! please dont!
but this isnt either of your faults, at least you used a condom. condoms arnt always 100% effective just like this incident. i just suggest you talk to him about the situation. it is neither of your fault and he shouldnt taking everything out on you. especially how he's saying its your fault the condom split and the miscarrage. please just talk to him, good luck x
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