A
male
age
30-35,
*ammer69
writes:I need a question answered. My girlfriend goes to church and I go with her most of the time. and they invited me to their Christmas party because of my GF. I promised my GF that I would go with her. But today I found out that my Grandfather's party is on the same day. And i don't know which to go to? I promises my girl a number of things and because of family I've broken a lot of promises to her but she has forgiven me and understood because of family. So when I told her she said go. But I don't know if I should. I promise my GF before hand that I would and I don't want to break a promise to her yet again, and I do want to go. But at the same time she told me to go to my Grandfather's plus I don't know how many more he is going to have, but a lot of the family I want to see aren't going and the ones that are may be gone the time i get there and i want to go to is too. so does anyone have a solution? and no I can't do both because of timing.
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male
reader, mammer69 +, writes (17 January 2012):
mammer69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey just a follow up we went to our separate parties an we both had fun and she understood completly.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2011):
 any chance you can do both? half at grandfathers and half at girlfriends?can you take Girlfriend with you to grandfathers as well?
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (28 December 2011):
I would say go to your grandfathers'. Your girlfriend is being so understanding, so you should take advantage of the time you have with your grandfather. You said that you can't go to both because of the timing, but would it be possible to drop in at your girlfriend's party either before or after your grandfather's party? That would show your girlfriend that you are committed to spending time with her and her friends.
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A
male
reader, mammer69 +, writes (28 December 2011):
mammer69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice. I can't go to both because of timing and that one is in Bel air,MD and the other is just out side of York,PA. so going to both is out. But thank you all this has helped me.And i would invite her along but she has a kid and that would make 6 of us in the car and me and her aren't small. Plus my dad and her DO NOT get along. so they would never make it to york. I know she understands and she knows family is important to me. I'm just tired of breaking promises to her. And i have done a lot of special things for her. I've bought her little keep sakes, taken her to dinner, cooked her dinner (the last one didn't turn out so well, bird wasn't done) I spent well over 100 dollars on her Christmas presents, (she spent only 20, but they were very thought full and I love them). But you guys are right I need to do something special for her. Maybe I'll cook dinner for her on New Years. Thank you all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): Why cant you go to both, if each party is being held near the other??!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Normally I am not one to encourage people to break their promises, and I feel that when you have taken a previous committment, that's it - no changes.
But, also since your gf has been so nice and understanding, this time I'll make an exception and I'll tell you to go to your Grandfather's party. As you said, you don't know how many more of his parties you'll be able to attend. And I am sure that you being there will mean a lot to him.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Personally, I would go to your grandfather's, you have said you don't know how many more he will have. You will regret it when the time comes that he is not around to be able to share these times with. My nephew never came to any parties my father had because he had onligations to his girlfriend at the time ( she was invited too but didn't want to attend), My father passed away 4 years ago and he carries so much regret and guilt over not spending what time he could with his grandfather. Your girlfriend seems to understand that family is important, and although I understand that you don't want to break another promise to her, she understands and is encouraging you to go. If you were breaking promises to hang out with friends, then that would be different, but family is important. I say go, and then do something special for your girlfriend at another time. Good Luck
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