A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend wants us to have a threesome with another woman and I'm not sure if I want to. I think it would be fun, but I'm quite a jealous person when it comes to her, and I think I might even get jealous of her with another woman. She really wants to do it, and I'm worried that if I say no, she'll get bored of me and find someone else who will.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 July 2010):
 Well, if she "might " get bored in your word) if you don't hook up with a third what's to stop her from wanting a fourth and then a fifth? You could end up in a really wierd situation so drive safely and be VERY careful with this gal
A
female
reader, Carissa +, writes (12 June 2009):
i had a very similar experience to you with a friends boyfriend. i had my first threesome when i was 16 and i was so nervous about it, it was with a couple i had met on the internet but it turned out to be quite fun and i met up with them quite a few times but her boyfriend started to feel that she was more intersested in me than him. so that ended our menage a trois lol
after that i didnt have one for wuite a while and ive been with my current boyfriend for the past two years now and i decided to offer him one for his birthday but he said no as he had exactly the same feelings you do. but after reassuring him about him being the only person for me and my main reason to doing it was because i knew it was a fantasy of his he finally agreed to doing it. he knows i am bisexual but i could never be in a relationship with a woman i only like the odd fling. now he is very keen to have another one. just like you we chose a close friend of ours and everything is still the same nothing has changed at all if anything we are all closer. so my advice to you is dont feel threatnened by another woman if she had any intentions of being with another female then she wouldnt be with you and wouldnt want to share this with you. and this is just my opinion but even though i enjoy being with another woman it would never beat being with my boyfriend . men ar much better so honestly you have nothing to worry about but if you dont feel comfortable with it then dont do it just to please her as that could end badly and she should understand your view as to why.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): Yeah..I have similar problem as the guy above.....on one hand I dont want anyone else to touch my GF...but and it is a but...if its a one off...whats the harm...my GF and myself have had many conversations about this situation....its a fantasy of hers...I suppose if Im honest also of mine...but theres still the nagging feeling in the back of my mind, what if she prefers sex with the girl more than myself, but again if thats the case move on...life I suppose is too short.....lots of guys would just jump straight in with both feet..LOL
So after lots of discussion, the plus points...my doubts etc...we have decided to go for it...my GF has a friend so we actually know the 3rd person and this also sort of helps in the should we or shouldnt we factor....as a lot of the fears I think for most people is "who will be that third person" and can we trust that person / clean etc...so my GF's friend is a nice person...not actually my type...but for my GF to fullfill her fantasy Im sure I can manage.
I will let you all know IF it happens and the outcome....
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 What I find amazing in your question is that you think YOU will be jealous of her with another woman, when usually it’s the girlfriend that can get jealous of her guy with the other girl! Wow....
Threesomes only work when the parties involved are not deeply emotionally involved. You love your girl so much you can't stand the idea of sharing her with anyone else...even another girl. That's real. If she loves and respects your feelings she should listen to you and not force this situation. Your girl, I'm sure, just wants to do this for the fun of it, but with you it’s not fun. You can't see eye to eye with her on this and it could break you.
I can't believe I'm patting you on the back for not going for the threesome. I don't think I would have the guts to pass it up myself. These other guys that are encouraging you to go for it are obviously thinking with the little head instead of the big head, but I can relate to them...lol.
Still I can't think for you. The decision is yours and you have to live with it not me or any of these guys. Do what you feel is right, which is your first instinct and tell your girlfriend it’s a no-go.
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A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 You have to be honest with her.
The thing is, it might be one of her fantasies, but does she value her desires over you and your relationship. You have to be completely open about your concerns and feelings.
You need to really examine what the motivations are here with this. Does she want to watch you having sex with another woman? Is she wanting to experience the feeling of being with a woman? Is she wanting another woman to watch the 2 of you having sex? Is this going to be with someone you both know or perhaps a sex worker? Have you both considered a foursome, where the girls share foreplay but you only have sex with your own partner?
I think if you can develop a bit of plan to what is acceptable and what isn't, then it may work.
I had a friend whose husband wanted to do the threesome thing, she felt uncomfortable about it. She compromised and went to a strip club and together they had a lap dance. It was their way of finding a middle road.
Whatever you decide, you both have to be feeling completely ok about it, otherwise it just won't work and will effect your relationship. I think this kind of sexual exploration in a relationship requires alot of trust.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (6 December 2007):
 You dont know whether you will be able to find the third one. the second girl, who of course she must also like. Secondly, even if you get serious about it she might also get scared (it may happen...) or get jealous of you. And what is the action going to be like? What exactly does she want in bed? Does she want her attention directed towards you or her.Since she almost imposes this on you, if the action she wants is more towards you, no need to get jealous, give it a shot.If she wants something for herself, well there is still the chance that she might give up the idea when it gets serious as I said above.And in any case if it happens even your girlfriend getting heavily involved there is little reason why you should be worried or jealous. If you do not dislike a girlfriend wanting to have threesome, you have nothing against it as a matter of principle. And believe me nothing will happen under any scenario that will jeopardize your relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): like phil said, go for it! if she enjoys it she will apreciate you more and know u respect her. just let urself go for one night!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Well, she's only a girlfriend, not a fiance or anything serious, so get in there boy! Even if you split up afterwards it'll be one for the memory bank! Take a little blue pill beforehand though, cause you might need a little booster.
Phil
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (6 December 2007):
 I dont think you should compromise your values to make her happy. If you think it would add too much drama, possibly hurt you seeing her with another girl, then that is a valid feeling. I use to listen to alot of loveline with Dr Drew and Adam Carolla....Dr Drew ALWAYS said that oftentimes threesomes are a way for a person to cause drama in a relationship on purpose....
Do you think your girlfriend might be trying to end this relationship by creating this crazy drama of a threesome? Threesomes are no joke...very serious. They can create a whole mess of unwanted emotions for both people. Sometimes they just arent worth it in a committed relationship.
Ask yourself if you want a committed relationship with your girlfriend or if you just want a casual sex partner and a casual threesome encounter..in which case your relationship with your girlfriend probably wont last.
If she leaves you b/c you dont want a threesome, her loss. She is leaving a guy who is committed and wants something more meaningful than wild sexual fantasy enactment.
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