A
female
age
26-29,
*loveyhoo
writes:One of my close friends (lets call her M) who i've been quite good friends with for about 4 years, has actually decided that she's bisexual, and she has a thing for my best friend (lets call her A) . I know A likes her back in a way, but not so much that she'd want to commit a lot of things to go into an open relationship, however M is like in love with my best friend A. Its been getting quite awkward hanging out with them together recently, because M is like a girl but acts and dresses like a boy in a really good way, and i know i'm straight, but i think i could be starting to like A, it's as if im half way convinced she's a boy, even though im clearly not. But she doesn't have any idea that i kind of like her the most slightest bit in that way, although when we was drunk we did kiss , but it was like a dare in a way. Anyway now it's really awkward cause she knows i'm in love with this boy who i have been for a year, but its not really getting anywhere, and that i'm straight, and i've been such good friends with her for so long i dont want to take the risk of loosing everything, so therefore i want to keep this secret from everyone.Anyway whenever i hang out with A and M together, it can get really awkward, and i love hanging out with them two because their my best friends, but because they're all quite "loved" up , in a way it heartbreaks me knowing them two have each other and i have no-one and its also hard seeing M not showing that affection to me.Then the other night A told me that her and M did some stuff together (tmi)and it just got really awkward and i have no idea what to do! Any advice, but which doesnt involve anyone knowing that I like M in a way :\
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, iloveyhoo +, writes (4 May 2011):
iloveyhoo is verified as being by the original poster of the question The thing is though there's not much more to say about the awkwardness with them, when us three are sat in a group , whenever it gets awkward me or A end up shouting out that its awkward anyway! I do have other friends, its just that these are the ones i trust the most and hang out with the most , but thank you anyway xxx
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (4 May 2011):
 Well i guess if it is really bothering you could try telling them how you feel, not your feelings towards M, instead just how it feels awkward and they are both important friends to you and you dont want to risk losing them. Just remember even if you tell them it may not stop them from seeing each other or "doing things" if they have real feelings for each other.
Im not saying stop spending time with them as they clearly mean a lot for you, but how about trying to make some new friends too, not lose you current one, but build up a larger friend group.
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A
female
reader, iloveyhoo +, writes (3 May 2011):
iloveyhoo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI get what your saying to the first comment, but everyone thinks its awkward, i do, M does and so does A.They're the people i hang out with outside of school, and them two are like my only true friends. SO i cant stop hanging out with themand by the way I never make it obvious thats something up with me when im with M.The weird thing is that I dont mind them two talking about the other ,to me, I prefer to know everything thats going on , even if i know that it may heartbreak me...so im really confused on what to do
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (3 May 2011):
Well unfortunately this situation is one that you do not have a lot of control over, whether your finds are gay straight or bi, when people within friendship groups begin to date each other it almost certainly becomes awkward.You say you like M a bit. really? i know it can be hard but you need to remember that even if she may look or dress like a boy under it all she is still a girl, with girl bits and bobs. If you still like her even when you think about her been a girl logically then that is fine, just thought id mention that.When it comes to whatever relationship is happening between A and M there isnt a lot you can do, you have to let them get on with it and if it works be ready for them to be spending time together without you and if they dont work they might find it hard to spend time together, in this case you need to just support them both and not take sides.I know this isnt what you want to hear but as you get older you will have lots of friends that date each other leave you out then break up and hate each other, its not nice but its true.About this guy you like, have you told him you like him or tried to spend time alone with him? just an idea.Hope this helps
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A
female
reader, PoppyMae +, writes (3 May 2011):
Even though your circumstances are a bit different, everyone goes through what you're feeling, you're not alone :)Feeling third wheel, watching someone you might like fall for someone else, questioning your sexuality etc. it's completely normal!Unfortunately the simplest thing to do it just to wait until you adjust to the whole situation. Seeing as nobody knows that you like M means for them it is not awkward, and for you to perhaps do things like not hang out with them etc. May make them feel like it's awkward and suspect that something it up.Unless you do feel that strongly about M I think you should be normal, even if you don't feel like it :) Perhaps hang out or sit with other friends at lunch etc. if they are getting too close or if A starts going into too much detail tell her jokingly that it's too much information as to not upset her, or try and keep the conversation out of that area.It will be hard and a little uncomfortable, it might always be, but to keep M from knowing how you feel, just waiting until you adjust and for someone to make them feel awkward with you might just be enough ;)
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