| A
male
,
*uapino
writes: I have been with my grilfriend for a over a year now, she has recently told me she has suffered from bulemia and is desperate to feel good about her self and more importantly to feel sexy again. She is gorgeous and has a beautiful face and the most sexy toned figure. We spoke at great lengths about how to make her feel sexier, and she welcomed my suggestions, these were wearing fitted pyjamas to bed (as she feels very unsexy in an over-sized tshirt) her masturbating more and taking time to know her body and what she likes, investing in push up bras to enhance her cleavage, when we go on holiday sunbathing topless. Now my reasoning behind all of this is to make her feel sexier, she agrees with me and welcomes all of this. She is very honest with me and she said although she loves me very much and has no inclination of another guy she is flattered when other guys check her out etc (ofcourse this does not bother me, I am the same with girls and I think we all are like this) I told this to some of my friends, and they said I was nuts, this will only make her want other men. I think they are being stupid, after all this is to make her feel better and feel as she should do being such a gorgeous girl. Does anyone agree with me or are my friends right?
View related questions:
confidence, on holiday, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bbz_gal  +, writes (21 December 2007):
if you let her stay the way she is she drive herself to death so i agree, dont over do it though just ask her to sing infront of you or ask her to go into town in a dress that shows off her figrue that make everybody look at her
A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (20 December 2007):
 there is some truth in what your friends say. You are being too liberal. Words matter. If she said, she is flattered when other guys check her out, it is not a good sign and she shouldnt have the courage to say anything like this to you...Remember, denial is the first step towards practice. It may be first step to leave and get another guy. Why does she feel she has to deny a possibility that is not supposed exist anyway.
...............................
A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (20 December 2007):
Hi
not sure i can help with the Bulimia i agree with the others you need to get her help.
as for the low self esteem my wife wasn't happy with her body for years after kids and thought nobody would think she was atractive. i got he to wear nice cloths that showed her body and a bikini when she was on holiday and after a while she noticed men looking at her.
i am not sure if you are telling the real story about not been bothered as i expect it turns you on. it did with me and it did improve our sex life.
if you want to discuss futher message me
good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): man your friend is right ....
dont be nut
again and again i will say that your friend is right
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (20 December 2007):
I dont think that your suggestions would drive her into the arms of another guy. If anything, its usualy very insecure people who have affairs more often compared to confidence people because they need that ego boost...so if you can help her boost her self esteem its a good idea.
Also is your gf recieving professional help? If she isnt, the BEST way you could support her and help her is to encourage her to see a professional because having bulemia is an illness and its not something you or any non trained person can help her with. So try to get her to see someone, even if it causes a fight, when you love someone you are willing to put their health ahead of everything else, even if this meanings confronting her and being in a difficult position by having her mad at you.
hope this has helped :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (20 December 2007):
 Hi. You told your friends!!!!!!!!! Does she know??? I think she told you in confidence.
I don't follow the logic of your friends. And I don't follow all of your logic either - it's all sex isn't it. None of them would do any harm though. Perhaps balance it up with some other confidence builders. Keep giving her aattention is probably as good as anything, as you clearly are.
What country are you in as a matter of interest? What nationality is she? It makes a difference. Post back if you could . Thanks.
There are no clear explanations for Bulimia Nervosa. Ask her what she thinks causes it, she might have an inkling? If she knows, post back, I'd be interested. Also how long has she had it. How old is she. How many times a week does she binge? Did she suffer with Anorexia Nervosa before?
Richard
...............................
A
male
reader, guapino +, writes (20 December 2007):
guapino is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe is seeing a counsellor and has been for a while she now wants to move on and build her self up again
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 December 2007):
 I don't have much information on this subject, but I don't think a case of bulimia can be solved by dressing sexy. This seems to me like treating tooth decay with anti-retrovirals. She needs to work on the reasons behind her bulimia, not on her looking any more or less sexy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): I agree with you, but suggesting sunbathing topless is too much, I think. It is OK to make your girls feel very sexy about herself but, don't over do it. Let her do her thing. I do my own lungerie and clothing alone most of the time; and even though I enjoy my boyfriend company and opinion on my shopping I prefer to do it alone... It's a women thing, don't step in too much into her world. However, I don't think that by you doing this will make herr go to the arms of another man in any means; if she does it's for other reasons, but no for your compliments. We women love to be seemed sexy and pretty, specially from our boyfriends. We enjoy you to tell us that we are gorgeous and wonderful.
...............................
|
